Meredith The Third
by boop-oop-ee-doo
Summary: When The Chief goes to rehab, Meredith & co must locate the only other Interim Chief candidate, her half-sister Lexie, a resident with photographic memory. Mer also has to deal with impending motherhood, Rose's new plot to take over Seattle Grace, and maybe learn something new about family along the way.
1. Rose's New Job

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

AN: Okay, I got a little excited in my planning for this one, so here it is, the first chapter of my Grey's-ified Shrek The Third.. But after this, their probably won't be anymore until I finish my Christmas fics. Also, I need a little help for the Rapunzel role. For those who don't remember, or haven't seen the film, Rapunzel is the one who betrayed the other Princesses, ie., the attendings and the Oceansiders in this version. I was thinking Finn, since I don't want to make Addison a villain, and besides her and Rose he's the only other _character _to threaten MerDer's relationship, but I know the betrayal wouldn't really be in character for him, so if you have any better ideas, please let me know.

* * *

><p>A spotlight shone down on Nurse Rose, riding a pretend horse across a dusty stage, towards a shoddily built wooden cut-out that was supposed to be an abandoned hospital.<p>

"It is time for me to venture to the highest room in this abandoned hospital, so that my dear attending can finally be rescued by his beloved.. Nurse Rose!" Rose cried. The crowd booed, and someone made a dismal thunderclap sound effect from offstage. Needless to say, things hadn't been going well for Rose since the defeat of her cousin, the evil Cardio-godmother Erica Hahn, at the hands of dark and twisty surgical resident Meredith Grey a few months before. Unable to get any nursing work, Rose had been forced to take a job performing in terrible dinner theater show. It certainly didn't help that the majority of her current audience consisted of Meredith's band of bright and shiny friends, Arizona, Callie, Mark, the Mercy Westers, and the Interns.

"You know, Dinner Theater really stinks nowadays" said Arizona with a frown.

"Ugh, tell me about it" Callie groaned, bouncing Sophia, her, Arizona, and Marks daughter in her arms (Sophia's existence is much to long and complicated to go into in this story. To learn more, see 'Grey's Anatomy: Season seven).

"I like it" said George seriously, before collapsing into a fit of laughter. "Just kidding!"

"This blows!" Mark yelled at the stage.

Rose tried to ignore the taunts, continuing her performance. An actor wearing a costume very slightly resembling Meredith's husband, Doctor Derek Shepherd, appeared in the top window of the 'hospital'.

"My goodness!" he said, unenthusiastically. "The lovely Nurse Rose approach-ith."

"Do not despair, fair Doctor!" Rose yelled, drawing her scalpel. "I will slay the Evil Spawn that guards you, and earn my rightful place at your side!"

"Ha!" Mark scoffed.

Rose tried to suppress her growing anger. On stage behind her, an actress in a really bad Meredith costume appeared.

"Woo hoo!" Arizona cheered. "Go Meredith!"

Rose scowled. She was supposed to be the hero of this Play, not Meredith Grey!

"Alright, you evil dark and twisty person!" Rose cried, waving her scalpel, "I will send you bark to the Dark abyss from whence you.."

_"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday Dear April.."_ sang a bunch of waiters, carrying a cake over to Meredith's friend's table and placing it in front of April Kepner.

"Do you mind?" Rose snapped, angry at the interruption to her performance.

"Do _you _mind?" Jackson yelled back as he threw a chair at the stage, "You ruined my friend's Birthday song!"

Unfortunately, Rose managed to dodge the chair, but fortunately, it hit the hospital cut-out, making it begin to topple. 'Derek' leapt to safety, running off-stage with 'Meredith'. Rose's eyes widened in horror as the hospital bore down on her, but unfortunately, she was standing where the window fell, and so escaped unharmed.

The crowd, especially Meredith's friends, erupted into a chorus of riotous laughter.

Rose's fists clenched.

"You'll be sorry!" she shrieked as she ran from the stage. "You'll all be sorry!"

"We're already sorry, that we wasted our time seeing this stupid show!" shouted Charles.

"I've seen better performances from a scalpel!" Reed yelled.

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><p>Rose ran through a door with a star on it, too her dressing room... Which was really just a dirty back-alley behind the restauraunt. Really, it was a miracle that her stuff hadn't been stolen by anyone, like the homeless guy who also lived in the alley.<p>

"Hey, Rosie" the guy grinned, flashing his rotten teeth.

Rose gave him a look of disgust, before flopping into her chair. She glanced up at the mirror, where she'd taped a photograph of Hahn, with a small note scrawled on it. The note read, 'To my favourite little cousin Rose, don't stop believing, no matter what! Love, Erica.'

A look of anger spread over Rose's face as she considered her cousin's words. She was supposed to be the one standing at the side of Seattle Grace's future Chief. Meredith Grey was the reason she wasn't. Meredith Grey disrupted the proper order of things. That was the truth, and Rose would _not_ stop believing. But she would find a way to make it right, and return everything to the way it was meant to be.

"I will not let that dark and twisty resident keep me down!" Rose stood, determined. "I promise you, Cousin Erica, I will regain my rightful place, and my dignity!" Suddenly, a newspaper blew into her face. She pulled it off, scowling at the picture of Meredith and Derek beaming out from it, waving to a crowd from the Hospital balcony. "And this time, nobody will stand in my way!"


	2. It's Not Easy Being Chief

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

AN: To Juni, I considered using April as Rapunzel, but decided against it 'cause she only had a harmless crush on Derek which she never intended to act upon. Also, I didn't think it was at all in character for her to betray the others on the scale that Rapunzel did in the the film. After re-watching the early 'Grey's' seasons over the holidays, I've decided to go with Colin Marlowe, as I kinda realised that Rose's accomplice needs to be able to fill the role of Chief for her plan to work.

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><p>The next morning at Seattle Grace, Meredith and Derek, blissfully unaware of Rose's plans for revenge, slowly began to stir.<p>

"Morning, Honey" Derek smiled sleepily.

"Morning" Meredith smiled back. They leaned in for a good morning kiss.. And Izzie suddenly burst through the door, with her six spawnling children, Chris, Rhett, Alison, Jane, Abby, and Holly fluttering around her.

_"Good Morning, Good Morning, the sun is shining through!" _The bright and shiny surgeon sang at the top of her lungs, ripping open the curtains to let the light stream in.

Meredith groaned, pulling the covers tighter around herself. The Spawnlings started jumping on her, occasional jets of fire spouting from their mouths. Derek chuckled, earning a glare from his wife.

_"Good Morning, Good Morning, to you!" _Izzie leaned her face in close to Meredith's, _"And you" _Then Derek's, _"And you!" _She swept the Spawnlings into her arms, kissing the tops of their heads. They giggled, then fluttered off out the door to go play with their Daddy. "Aww, they grow up so fast!"

"Not fast enough" Meredith frowned, snuffing out a small fire that Holly had left behind.

"Morning, Mer, McDreamy" greeted Cristina as she walked in clutching a clipboard. "I hope you had a good night's sleep, because April's written us this checklist of all the things you need to do filling in for the Chief and Adele today." Since Hahn's spell over him and been broken, Chief Webber had taken some time off to work through his problems, leaving Meredith and Derek in charge of the Hospital. "There's a lot of functions and crap you have to go to.."

"So time to rise and shine.." Izzie ripped off the covers.

"Agh!" She and Cristina screamed, covering their eyes. Neither Meredith nor Derek had a stitch on.

"Geez, guys! Don't you wear PJ's?" said Izzie, disgusted.

"Not always, no" said Meredith, annoyed, as she pulled some scrubs from the drawer beside her bed. "That's exactly why you should never walk into a married couple's bedroom without knocking!"

* * *

><p>Meredith's first job as the Acting Chief's partner was to present the new Chief Resident with their very own scalpel. She and Derek stood before a crowd in the Conference room. The resident nervously approached.<p>

"Cogratulations" Meredith smiled. "Allow me to present you with this.." She held out the scalpel, accidently stabbing the resident in the shoulder. "Sorry."

Izzie winced.

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><p>Next, for some reason, the pair had been chosen to christen the Maiden Voyage of a new ferry boat.<p>

Meredith smiled for the cameras, then raised a bottle to lightly tap the boat, only to find that it was already floating away. Panicking, she threw the bottle.. And smashed a hole in the boat, which quickly began to sink.

"Oops" she chuckled sheepishly.

Cristina turned to Izzie, concerned.

"If Mer can't handle this, how's she gonna go at the banquet tonight?"

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><p>"No" said Meredith, crossing her arms, while her friends were trying to help she and Derek get ready for the aforementioned banquet. "What's wrong with how I look? 'Don't judge a book by it's cover' is pretty much the moral of this whole fic series."<p>

"That is a good point" Derek agreed.

"Mer, for tonight, you're a Chief's wife!" said Izzie. "You have to at least try and look the part!"

"No, I don't."

"Oh, come on Meredith" said Cristina. "If not for us, then do it for The Chief."

"That's a good point too" Derek frowned.

"Well.." Despite their early animosity towards one another, Meredith and Chief Webber had grown surprisingly close in the months since Hahn's defeat. She couldn't be the one to send his hospital's reputation down the toilet. "Fine."

"Alright!" Izzie grinned, poking her head out into the hallway. "Addison, they agreed to the makeover!"

"They?" Derek yelped.

"And why does she have to do it again?" Meredith frowned as the leader of the Oceansiders entered the room. While they were all more or less friends now, Meredith was still slightly wary due to the encounter with them during her first adventure which had left her with a scalpel protruding from her butt cheek.

"Everyone else was busy" Izzie shrugged.

"But what about the whole 'private practice workers are nuts' thing?"

"Yeah, we got over that when we started hanging around semi-normal people again " explained Addison as she looked Meredith and Derek over, shaking her head. "Boy, I have a lot of work to do.."

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><p>"1,2,3.." Addison counted down, before ripping a wax trip from Meredith's leg.<p>

"YEEEOWW!" she screamed, jumping a mile in the air.

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><p>"Ouch, ouch, ouch.." said Meredith, as Addison plucked her slightly overgrown eyebrows. "OUCH! I thought you were only plucking one at a time!"<p>

"Sorry, your ouches threw of my concentration.."

* * *

><p>"Ouch!" Derek later echoed his wife while Addison plucked his nose hairs.<p>

"Share the pain, baby" Meredith smirked.

* * *

><p>"Oof!" said Derek as he was squeezed into a too tight suit.<p>

* * *

><p>"Eep!" Meredith squeaked as she was zipped into a too tight dress.<p>

* * *

><p>"My work here is done" Addison grinned.<p>

"Looking good, Mer" Izzie chuckled as she looked at her friend. "You too, Derek."

"Uh, yeah" said Cristina, trying not to sound sarcastic. "You look really.. uh.."

"Stupid" Meredith finished. Her hair was stacked atop her head, and she wore an impossibly frilly pink dress that was so tight she could barely move.

"No, you.." Cristina sighed. "Okay, I can't lie anymore. You look like Debutante Barbie."

"Is all this really necessary?" asked Derek, shifting uncomfortably. His suit _looked _okay, but he had the same problems with movement as Meredith.

"Of course it is" said Izzie. "You've got to make a good, uh.. third impression, seeing as how you screwed up the first two." Meredith glared at her. "Oh, look at the time." Izzie giggled nervously, grabbing Cristina and Addison and dragging them with her from the room.

"Ugh" Meredith groaned after they left. "How much longer do we have to put up with this?"

"It's just until the Chief is better" said Derek gently. "And Meredith.. Even though it's not your usual style, you still look beautiful tonight."

"Aww, come here you" Meredith grinned. They attempted to lean in for a kiss, but the tightness of their clothes prevented them from reaching each other. They struggled for a few minutes, before giving up, sighing. Unfortunately, Meredith quickly found a new problem. "Eugh, now my butt itches and I can't reach it in this stupid dress!" Thankfully, help soon arrived in the form of a certain Plastic Surgery attending.

"Hey" Mark grinned, "How're my favourite Interim Chief and his beautiful wife to.."

"Mark!" cried Meredith in relief. "Grab one of those crutches, I need your help.."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, the crowd at the banquet quietly awaited the arrival of their hosts, who were standing behind a curtain on a stage. A member of the hospital board took to the microphone.<p>

"Introducing Acting Chief of Surgery Doctor Derek Shepherd, and his wife, Doctor Meredith Grey!"

The curtains opened to reveal an embarassed looking Derek, standing beside Meredith, who was bent over with her butt facing the crowd while Mark scratched it with a crutch.

"A little to the left" said Meredith, as Mark continued scratching. "Yeah, that's the spot!"

"Ah, Crap." Cristina hadn't thought Meredith could possibly screw anything up worse than the day's earlier incidents, but her friend had proven her wrong.

Arizona reached over Callie to cover baby Sofia's innocent eyes.

"Uh, Meredith" Derek chuckled nervously, trying to catch her attention.

"Yeah, you got it" Meredith sighed. "Oh, that's good.."

"Meredith.."

"Yeah, scratch it!"

"Meredith!" Derek snapped.

Meredith and Mark froze, finally realizing what was going on. Mer spun around, knocking the crutch from Mark's hand and sending it flying into the crowd, hitting Izzie right in the eye.

"Ahh, my eye!" the bright and shiny resident screamed, clutching her eye and stumbling around, colliding with a vase of flowers which began to topple. Derek caught it just in time, but slipped ina pool of water that had spilled from it.

"Derek!" Meredith attempted to rush to her husband's aid, but only made the situation worse yet again. First she stepped on the bottom of her dress, tearing it and revealing her underwear to the crowd, before stepping on a loose board on the stage which sent Mark flying through the air, screaming. Mark grabbed onto the chandelier on the roof, breathing a sigh of relief, but it soon gave way under his weight, causing the plastic surgeon to fall onto a surgeon carrying a platter of flaming skewers, causing said skewers to fly about the room, one setting apainting on fire. Owen Hunt dove to push Cristina out of the way of a shower of debris from the roof, which settled over everybody's food.

Meredith sighed. The banquet was a disaster, just like everything else she'd touched that day.

Izzie, uncovering her eye, blinked, looking over the trashed banquet hall and ruined food.

"Uh.. Wan't me to go get take-out?"

* * *

><p>AN: The names of the spawnlings are taken fom other characters played by Justin Chambers and Katherine Heigl.<p> 


	3. The Pitter Patter Of Little Feet

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

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><p>"That's it, we're outta here!" Meredith yelled as she stormed into the room she and Derek had been staying in during their time at Seattle Grace, sheddinbg bits of debris from the disastrous banquet as she went.<p>

"Meredith, try to calm down" Derek sighed as he entered behind his wife. "I know that didn't go as well as we'd hoped, but.."

"How can I possibly calm down after what just happened?" Meredith snapped. "Face it, Derek, I'm dark and twisty! I'm not cut out to be a Chief's wife, and I never will be." She sighed, sitting down on the bed.. As Izzie suddenly appeared beside her.

"That went well, huh?" she grinned.

"Izzie, we're having a private moment!" Meredith snapped, grabbing her friend and pushing her out the door, slamming it behind her.

"Not cool, Mer!" cried Izzie's muffled voice.

Meredith sighed and lay back down on the bed.. Finding Cristina curling up on Derek's side.

"Some people just don't understand boundaries.." said the Cardio-God in the making, fluffing the pillows and making herself comfortable.

"Argh!" Meredith gave an annoyed yell, pushing Cristina off the bed and dragging her out onto the balcony.

"But I'm your person!" Cristina cried.

Meredith rolled her eyes and shut the curtains, blocking Cristina from view.

Derek frowned, troubled by his Wife's fragile emotional state, and wondered how he was going to deliver a big piece of news he had recently recieved. A few weeks earlier, Alex had flown over to Africa to pick up some disadvantaged children and bring them to Seattle Grace for Surgeries (He had even allowed Izzie to fit him with Safety harnesses and seatbelts for this purpose). Meredith, figuring that these things usually take a really long time, went along with Derek's suggestion that they apply to adopt one of said disadvantaged children. Unfortunately for Derek, who had to inform her of their impending parenthood, it hadn't taken as long as expected.

"Just think, Mer" said Derek, hoping to calm his Wife down before dropping a few hints. "In a few more days, we'll be back home, in you're big old House."

"You had me at home" Meredith sighed, flopping back onto the bed.

"And" said Derek gently as he snuggled beside her, "The pitter-patter of little feet on the floor?"

"Oh yeah" Meredith chuckled. "The rats will have done a lot of breeding while we've been gone."

"Actually" Derek prodded, "I was thinking of slightly _larger _tiny feet."

"Oh no, we are not letting Izzie move in with us!" said Meredith, getting the wrong idea. "I mean, she's one thing, but with her comes Alex and the Spawnlings. Sure their cute, but our insurance doesn't cover damage caused by human-evil spawn hybrids!"

"No, Meredith.. What I meant was, uh, theoretically, they were um.."

"What?"

"Baby feet?" Derek finished.

"Oh. OH" Meredith burst out laughing. "Are you serious? We already put in that adoption application.."

"That's what I wanted to.." Derek tried to interrupt.

"But our own baby? All babies do is cry and poop. They cry when they poop, and poop when they cry.."

"But Meredith.."

"And our baby would most likely be born Dark and twisty" continued Meredith with a shiver. "That means extra crying, and extra poop!"

"But Meredith" Derek sighed, "Haven't you ever wanted to start a family?"

"Maybe, one day" Meredith mused. "I agreed to the adoption thing didn't I?"

"Yes, and.."

"But for now Derek, you are all the family I need."

Okay, Derek thought, it might not be the best time, but Meredith needed to know the truth, so she would have at least a little time to get used to the idea. He was just about to open his mouth, when a flustered Mark burst into the room.

"That's it! Somebody important better be dying, or going to Rehab!" cried Meredith, annoyed.

The look on Mark's face made Meredith instantly regret those words.


	4. The Chief Goes To Rehab

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

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><p>"I'm going to Rehab!" Chief Webber announced, as some Paramedics loaded his things into a nearby Ambulance for the trip.<p>

Derek glared at Meredith, who chuckled sheepishly. Izzie, Cristina, and Mark stood with them, all looking rather solemn.

"Oh Richard.." Adele sobbed, pulling her husband into a hug. He kissed the top of her head, before climbing into the Ambulance and settling himself onto the gurney.

"Adele, don't forget to pay the Nurses while I'm gone."

"I won't" said Adele, wiping her eyes.

"And Mark" He turned to the Head Of Plastics, "Please, for the love all that is Holy, DO NOT botch any surgeries on magical Patients!"

Mark bowed his head in shame.

"And Derek.."

"Yes Chief?" said Derek, trying to stay strong.

"The love you and Meredith share has taught me so much." he began. "I am eternally sorry for ever trying to split you apart.."

"It's okay Chief, you were just doing what you thought was best" said Derek, turning to his Wife. "We forgive him, don't we Meredith?"

"Of course" Meredith nodded.

"Meredith" Chief Webber turned to her, smiling. "You are becoming an excellent Surgeon. I'm proud to welcome you into the Seattle Grace family.. Which has grown a lot bigger with all the bright and shiny friends you brought with you!"

"Yeah, sorry about that.." Meredith chuckled.

"Oh no! They're wonderful, all wonderful! Now, there's one last piece of business we need to.." Before the Chief could finish his sentence, the doors suddenly slammed shut, and the Ambulance zipped off down the road.

"Cheif Webber.. Is gone" said Cristina, removing her scrub cap as a sign of respect.

The Ambulance screeched to a stop, and the doors swung open. The group gasped and rushed towards it.

"Put your scrub cap back on, stupid!" Izzie barked at Cristina, who did as she was told.

"Sorry about that" said The Chief. "The driver thought my business meant leaving. Now Meredith.."

"Yes, Chief?" she asked, stepping closer.

"I'll be gone for quite a while, and somebody needs to run things around here, so.. You and Derek are in charge."

"What?" Cried Meredith. "You can't be serious!"

The look on Cristina and Izzie's faces showed Meredith that they agreed with her.

But the look on Chief Webber's face said he was serious. Deadly serious.

"Come on! There's got to be a better person for the job than us!"

"Well" said The Chief reluctantly, "There is_ one _other candidate.."

"Who?" asked Meredith, relieved.

"An Intern at Mass-Gen. She has photographic memory, so she'd be able to easily remember everything she needs to be Chief, at least temporarily" Chief Webber explained. "Her name is.." The Ambulance doors slammed shut again, and it began to drive off.

Cristina removed her scrub cap.

"No!" cried Meredith desperately, chasing after the Ambulance. "The name! What's her name?"

The ambulance screeched to a halt, and the doors swung open.

"Geez, make up your mind!" Cristina snapped, jamming her scrubcap back on.

"Sorry" said The Chief, glaring at the Ambulance driver. Where were we?"

"The name!" Meredith yelled. "You were going to give us the name of the other Interim Chief candidate!"

"Oh, yes. Her name is.." said The Chief, dragging out the pause for an unbearably long time, "Alexandra Caroline Grey. Though I think she prefers Lexie."

Meredith's jaw dropped. The supposedly simple solution to her problem had just become very complicated.

"Weird, huh Mer?" Izzie chuckled. "She has the same name as your bright and shiny half-sister who you've never met!"

"That's because she _is _my bright and shiny half-sister, Iz."

"Oh."

"Well, that's everything" Chief Webber sighed. "Goodb.."

The doors slammed, and the Ambulance drove off. It didn't stop.

Derek pulled Meredith to his side.

Mark comforted Adele, who was fighting back tears.

Izzie nudged Cristina, who quickly took off her scrub cap.

* * *

><p>AN: Everyone, I need some villains for the next chapter. Suggestions?<p> 


	5. Villains United

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, Or Shrek.

AN: I know Fife isn't really a villain, but he was kind of an antagonist when he was first introduced, and besides, here he fills the role of Captain Hook, who was one of the first villains to turn on Charming in the film.

* * *

><p>Much to the despair of it's owner, Joe's bar had been overrun by unsavoury types in recent times. Joe looked around warily at Gary Clark, a depressed looking man with a gun sticking out of his pocket, Gabriel Fife, a guy in a wheelchair who spent most of his time in the corner coming up with kooky experimental procedures, Dr. Baylow, a sour looking blonde former Seattle Grace resident who was always muttering about 'Stupid little Intern Mandy' upstaging her, Dr. Stark, who always grumbled about idiot Residents, an unfortunate group of nurses whose involvement in one of Fife's procedures had caused giant scalpel blades to sprout atop their heads, and the Dead Baby Bike Racers, half of whom were playing pool, while the other half engaged in a brawl.<p>

The newest addition to this troublesome group was Sadie Harris, an Intern who at that moment was feeling incredibly rejected by the Hero of our story..

* * *

><p><em>'Seattle Grace, a few hours earlier..<em>'

Sadie ran excitedly through the doors of the hospital. It had taken a few days travel to get there, but it was worth it for the chance to see her old friend.

"Death!" She called. "Death, where are you?" Sadie paused at the reception desk. "Is Doctor Meredith Grey around? I'm an old friend of hers."

"Her room's down that way" said the Receptionist, pointing. "But she's very busy at the moment, she's preparing for.."

"She'll have time for me" Sadie grinned. "Thanks for your help!" She ran down the hall, eventually finding her friend's room. Inside, Meredith, a blonde woman, and a Korean woman were packing suitcases.

"Death!"

"Sadie?" Meredith looked up, surprised.

"The one and only" Sadie smiled, hugging her friend, before standing back to look around. "Wow, you've done pretty well for yourself. So, I was wondering if I could crash here for a few days.."

"Uh.. It's really not a good time, Die" said Meredith. "See, the Chief Of Surgery just got shipped off to Rehab, and I have to go on a quest to pick up his replacement.."

"Great! I'll come with you."

"Uh.. No."

"Why not?"

"Well, I've got these two coming with me already" Meredith explained, indicating Izzie and Cristina, "Ferry tickets are pretty expensive, and besides, this is really a work trip.."

For a moment, Sadie looked hurt, but then her hurt turned to anger.

"I get what you're really saying" she scowled. "You have new Resident friends now, you don't need old Sadie who's just an intern!"

"That's not it at all! I just.."

"Forget it!" Sadie snapped, bolting from the room.

"Sadie, wait! Sadie!"

* * *

><p>Unfortunately, Rose, who had managed to get a spy into the Hospital, had been informed of this incident, and saw in it an opportunity to set her plan in motion.<p>

Nurse Rose walked into the bar, mistaking one of the Scalpel-heads for a coat rack and throwing her jacket on it. She ignored some of the dirty looks from the other patrons, and took a seat beside the down-in-the-dumps Sadie. Joe sighed. This could not be good.

"What's the matter with you, Sweetie?" Rose asked Sadie. "You look a little down."

"Yeah, that tends to happen when you've been rejected by someone who you thought was your friend" Sadie grumbled.

"This 'friend' wouldn't happen to be a dark and twisty Surgical Resident by the name of Meredith Grey, would it?" Said Rose slyly.

"Uh.. Yes, actually."

"Well, there's your problem, uh.. What's your name?"

"Sadie."

"There's your problem, Sadie. I've dealt with her before, she's dark and twisty. Trust me, you can't expect loyalty from that lot. Joe!"

"What'll it be?" Joe sighed.

"Oh, just a tequila shot for me and my friend here. In fact" Rose grinned, standing and yelling to the whole bar, "Tequila shots for all my friends!"

Unfortunately for Rose, this didn't go down to well, and she yelped as Gary Clark pressed is gun against her chin.

"We are not your friends" He scowled, as the other Villains surrounded Rose.

Joe ducked behind the bar, giving a silent invitation for Sadie to hide with him, but she stayed put, wanting to see where this went.

"You don't belong here" said Fife, eyes narrowed.

"Of course I don't" said Rose with a nervous chuckle. "But.. Do any of us really belong here?"

Fife and Gary Clark shared a look, both curious about what Rose meant.

"Don't listen!" shouted one of the Scalpel-heads. "Blast her, Gary!"

"No, please listen. We're more alike than you think!" cried Rose. Looking to his companions for guidance, Gary shrugged and lowered the gun. Rose breathed a sigh of relief, then moved to Dr. Baylow's table. "Dr. Baylow, were you not upstaged and humiliated by your former Intern, Miranda Bailey? How does that make you feel?"

"Furious!" Dr. Baylow growled.

"And Fife" Rose continued, "Didn't Addison Montgomery and her little Oceansiders put a stop to your research?"

"Yes" said Fife, "But.."

"And you" Rose cut him off, turning to Dr. Stark, "What's your story?"

"Some residents embarassed me by going rogue on a surgery" Stark growled. "But one day, I'll have my revenge.."

"Of course you will!" Rose grinned. "Now Maisie.."

"Sadie."

"Poor dear Sadie" Rose continued. "Rejected by your so-called friend right when you needed her most! Is that fair?"

"No" Sadie sighed.

"Once upon a time, someone made a rule that people like us always come off second best" said Rose, once again addressing the bar as a whole. "But every story has to sides, and our side has yet to be told! So, I ask you now: Who will join me? Who wants to be on top for once, to help me take revenge on Meredith Grey? Who wants _their _Happily Ever After?"

After a moment, the villains cheered.

Joe, still hiding behind the bar, gulped. He had to get out of there and warn his friends at Seattle Grace.. But how?

* * *

><p>AN: Uh-oh. Next chap, Mer, Cristina, and Izzie head off on their quest to get Lexie.<p> 


	6. Wonderful News?

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, Or Shrek.

AN: The Grey's finale HAS NOT aired in Aus yet. If/Then just aired here yesterday. All I know about the finale is that it involves a plane crash, and someone dies. I do not no who, and do not want to. So PLEASE, PLEASE, NO FINALE SPOILERS! That is all.

* * *

><p>Unable to catch up with Sadie andd apologise, Meredith decided she really couldn't deal with that right now, and headed back to finish packing for her departure the following day.<p>

That day had now come, and Derek, Alex, the spawnlings, and all Meredith's bright and shiny friends were gathering at the Ferry dock to see off our trio of heroes.

Intern Steve tripped as he rushed towards the dock, knocking down Megan and Pierce like dominos.

"Steve!" They groaned, annoyed.

Cristina was saying goodbye to Owen. Ie., they were making out. Nearby, Izzie was also saying her goodbyes to Alex and the Spawnlings.

"Do you have to go?" Alex pouted, holding Izzie in his hand and stroking her hair with one oversized finger, while the whimpering Spawnlings sat perched on his shoulders.

"You know I do" Izzie smirked. "Mer and Cristina would be lost without me."

"I know" Alex sighed.

The Spawnlings flew to their Mother, sobbing.

"We don't want you to go, Mommy!"

"Aww, don't cry babies" said Izzie, embracing them all. "Mommy's only gonna be gone for a day or two. You guys just need to be brave, okay?"

"Okay, Mommy" They chorused.

"Okay. Now, Chris, Rhett, Allison, Jane, Abby, be good for your Daddy. And Holly, no roasting marshmallows on your brother's head."

"I wo.. Ah-choo!" Holly sneezed, forcing Izzie to dodge the jet of flames that erupted from her nose.

"That's my special girl!" Izzie chuckled. She motioned for Alex to let her down, then called out to her fellow sidekick. "Hey Cristina, stop eating Owen's face and get on the boat already!"

Cristina glared at her.

"Meredith, you really don't have to go" said Derek, slightly nervous. Mark stood nearby bouncing baby Sofia, reminding him that he still needed to work the imminent arrival of their knew daughter Zola into the conversation, and fast. "It seems silly to go through all this trouble, we'd only have to run things here for a little while.."

"We both know that that would be a disaster, Derek."

"Maybe, but.."

"And besides" Cristina added as she and Izzie approached. "If the Little Grey gives us any trouble, we'll just have to use good old reason and persuasion.

"Wow, Cristina" Izzie grinned. "Nice to see you've realised that violence isn't the way to.."

"This is reason" Cristina cut her off, raising her right fist, "And this" she raised her left, "Is persuasion!"

"Or not" Izzie sighed.

"Mark, I'm counting on you and the others to help Derek out until I get back" said Meredith. Mark didn't reply, too busy pulling faces at Sofia. "Mark!"

"What?" Mark frowned, finally looking up.

"Don't worry, Grey" said Bailey, rolling her eyes. "I'll keep things running."

"We've got your back Meredith, just like always!" April grinned.

"Thanks, Guys" Meredith smiled gratefully, before turning to give Derek one last kiss goodbye.

Derek was getting desperate now. He really had to give her the news about their baby.

"Meredith, I really have to.."

"Relax, Derek" Meredith chuckled. "Soon it will just be you and me, with a big house all to ourselves.

"But we won't have it all to ourselves. Our adop.." The rest of Derek's words were drowned out by a horn from the boat.

"All aboard!" cried The Captain, Addison's Father who she had called in to help out.

"I have to go, Derek" Meredith gave him onelast kiss, before rushing off to join Izzie and Cristina, who had already boarded the Ferry. "Everything's going to be fine, I promise."

The Ferry set off. The Spawnlings wrote 'We Love You Mommy' in the sky with smoke.

"Aww, that is so sweet!" Arizona cooed.

"Goodbye, babies!" Izzie waved from the boat, wiping a tear from her eye. "Mommy loves you too!"

"We'll be back soon with the Little Grey!" Cristina yelled.

"Stop calling her that!" Meredith snapped. "It sounds like you think Lexie is gonna be a mini-me, which she seriously won't. She's just a girl whose gonna solve our problems."

Derek sighed, thinking he had failed. But then he found a new burst of strength, and raced for the end of the dock, determined.

"Meredith, our.." The foghorn cut him off, again.

"I love you too, baby!" called Meredith, thinking that must have been it.

"Not that!" Derek groaned. "Our adoption application went through, we're getting a baby, a little girl named Zola!"

"Oh.." Meredith suddenly felt sick, but put on a brave front for Derek. "That's wonderful news!"

Cristina frowned. The look on her friend's face said it was anything but wonderful news.

"Mer, you're gonna be a Mommy with me!" Izzie squealed, pulling her into a bone-crushing hug. "Isn't it great?"

"Yeah" Meredith sighed, "Great.."


	7. Nightmares At Sea

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, Or Shrek.

AN: The Grey's finale HAS NOT aired in Aus yet. If/Then just aired here last week. All I know about the finale is that it involves a plane crash, and someone dies. I do not no who, and do not want to. So PLEASE, PLEASE, NO FINALE SPOILERS! That is all.

* * *

><p>That night, below deck, our trio of heroes slept, building energy for the journey ahead. Izzie slept curled on the floor, having been kicked there after trying to crawl into Cristina's bunk.<p>

"Pass me a scalpel." Cristina mumbled. "We're gonna have to crack her chest.."

On the bunk above her, Meredith tossed and turned..

* * *

><p>Meredith opened her eyes, finding herself on the front path outside her house. Her big, beautiful old house. She was home, she was finally Home!<p>

"Oh Meredith.." called Derek, McDreamily, from inside.

Meredith grinned, bolting for the door.

"Derek!" she called as she threw it open, stepping elatedly into the front hall. "Derek, I'm here!" No response. Meredith frowned. "Derek? Where.."

The door slammed shut behind her, making her jump. Meredith made her way further inside.

"Derek?"

Still no reply. She checked all the bedrooms. No Derek. The bathroom. No Derek.

"This is getting a little creepy.."

Suddenly, she heard a giggle. Meredith thought of everyone she knew who giggled. This giggle didn't sound like any of them, but she still needed to ask.

"Izzie? April? Arizona? If this is any of you playing a joke, it's not funny!" She didn't think April would be brave enough to prank her, but you never knew with the bright and shinies

Another giggle. Nope, definitely not her friends. This time, the sound was quite a bit closer. Meredith heard the creak of old wheels behind her, and turned, gasping to see a pram behind her. From the pram, a baby girl with dark skin, black hair and big brown eyes stared up at Meredith. A little nametag reading 'Zola' was stuck to her dress she was wearing.

"Uh-oh."

Zola burped.

"Well, better out than in" Meredith chuckled nervously, taking a few steps closer to the pram.

Apparently taking her words as an invitation, little Zola proceeded to projectile vomit all over her new Mother.

"Ah!" Meredith yelped, throwing up her hands in a vain attempt at shielding herself from the fountain of spew. "Yuck! Maybe it's better in!"

Zola began to wail.

"Oh no" Meredith cried. She rushed to the pram and scooped Zola up, finding a vomit free patch to cuddle her against. "Don't cry, Zola, please don't cry. I'm just not used to this 'Mom' thing.."

Zola's cries began to subside, and Meredith smiled. But then, she spotted another Zola out of the corner of her eye. And another, and another.

"What the Hell?" Meredith looked around, seriously wigged out. There were Zolas everywhere!

"Mama!" One giggled, as she and two other Zola clones pulled the cushions off Meredith's favourite chair.

Another one was tugging on the end of a table cloth, about to pull a vase down on herself.

"No!" cried Meredith, jerking her to safety with her free arm just in time. "Phew, that was.. Ah!"

She gasped in horror, setting the second Zola down and rushing to relieve yet another Zola of a burning match.

"No! We do not play with matches!"

Another Zola was about to climb into the lit fireplace.

"Or open flame!" Meredith snapped, pulling her back.

She heard a smash, and turned to see a Zola crawling a long a high shelf.

"No!" She cried, catching her just as she tumbled off the edge.

Zolas were climbing on the curtains, tearing up Ellis' Diaries, and wreaking unholy chaos upon Meredith's home. She glanced at the first Zola, still clutched against her, and sighed.

"I am seriously not cut out of for this.."

There was a sudden rumble, before hundreds more Zolas came pouring out of the fireplace. Meredith screamed.

* * *

><p>She woke in a cold sweat, shaking.<p>

"Izzie" Meredith jumped out of her bunk, shaking her friend's shoulder. "Iz, wake up, I.."

Izzie rolled over, her face morphing into Zolas.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!"

* * *

><p>"Mer! Meredith, wake up!"<p>

Meredith woke, for real this time, Cristina shaking her roughly while Izzie stood nearby, looking concerned.

"Are you okay, Mer?" the blonde frowned.

"That must have been one hell of a nightmare" said Cristina.

"Yeah.. yeah, I'm fine" Meredith frowned, trying to convince herself as much as her friends. "I just need some air.."

* * *

><p>Meredith headed up onto the deck, Izzie and Cristina close behind her. She moved to the side of the boat, taking a deep breath of salty sea air, and sighed.<p>

"I can't believe I'm going to be a Mother.. How did this happen?"

"Well" Izzie began, "When a Mommy and Daddy love each other very much.." she frowned, realising that explanation didn't really fit here.

"Or in your case" said Cristina, "When a Mommy and Daddy want to give a family to a baby that doesn't have one.."

"I know how it happened, guys" Meredith groaned. "I just can't believe it happened so soon." She spent a few moments staring at the rising Sun in silence, before Izzie decided, as Izzie often did, to try and lighten the mood with a song.

_"Oh, the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man in the Moon.."_

"Iz, stop.." Meredith turned to Cristina for help shutting Izzie up, only to find her power-sliding across the deck to join Izzie's song.

_"'When you coming home, kid?' 'I don't know when'.."_

_"We'll get together then, Mom!" _They sang in unison, _"I know we'll have a good time.."_

"Guys, this is not making me feel any better!" Meredith snapped.

"Sorry Mer, It's catchy" Cristina shrugged, before moving to her friend's side. "Hey, after we get your sister, how about we take off for a few days, just you, me, and a few bottles of tequila, and just take some time to dance it all out before that snot-nosed kid ruins your life."

"Don't listen to her, Mer" Izzie frowned. "Having kids doesn't ruin your life at all even if they're unexpected. Trust me, I should know."

"It's not my life I'm worried about ruining" Meredith muttered. "It's the kid's. Seriously, when have you guys ever heard the phrase 'As sweet as a Dark and twisty person', or 'As nurturing as a dark and twisty person' or, 'You should meet my Mom, she's really dark and twisty!'"

"Hey, no one said having a kid would be easy" said Cristina, "But you kinda signed up for this when you agreed to the adoption thing."

"Besides, you'll have us to help you out" Izzie grinned. "And now, maybe even your sister!"

"I'm doomed" Meredith groaned.

"But Mer, being a Mother is one of life's greatest blessings!" cried Izzie.

"Everything's gonna be fine" said Cristina.

"You're finished!" yelled The Captain.

"Gee, thanks" said Meredith sarcastically.

"No, I meant your journey" The Captain clarified, pointing at a large hospital in the distance as the Ferry docked. "There's Mass-Gen, few miles East."

"All right!" Izzie squealed excitedly, jumping onto the dock. "Time for another whirlwind adventure!"

"Here we go again.." Meredith sighed.


	8. Mistaken Identity

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, Or Shrek.

AN: Since I have pretty much run out of Grey's characters that would fit these roles by this point, This chapter will feature cameo appearances from the cast of my other favourite medical series, House.

* * *

><p>Before long, Meredith and Co reached the carpark of Mass-Gen, having to dodge a speeding SUV full of car-pooling Interns as they headed for the Hospital doors.<p>

"Idiots!" yelled Cristina, shaking a fist. "You could have killed someone.

"What kind of place is this?" Izzie whimpered as they reached the entrance and headed inside. "I'm suddenly overwhelmed with memories of people teasing me yelling 'Dr. Model, Dr. Model!', a regrettable incident with an LVAD wire, and forced to do scut 'cause I'm at the bottom of the Surgical food-chain!"

"Yep" said Meredith. "Guys, prepare to relive your Intern year."

The group continued on, passing by a group of Cheerleading Nurses who were practicing for an upcoming Hospital softball match.

_"Ready? Okay! Are we headed to the top? We think so, we think so!"_

_"Do you think we can be stopped? We think not, we think not!"_

"Great, we've just walked into an episode of 'Glee'" said Cristina, rolling her eyes.

"I love Glee!" cried Izzie excitedly. _"Don't stop believin'! Hold on to that feeeeeling!"_

"Shut up if you want to keep your tongue" Cristina growled.

Izzie gulped.

"How the hell are we going to find Lexie in this place?" Meredith grumbled, before spotting a young woman sitting on a gurney with her head buried in a medical journal, nametag reading 'Dr. Martha M. Masters'. "Excuse me" Meredith began, tapping her on the shoulder, "Do you know where.."

Martha looked up, and, faced with Meredith's dark and twistiness, screamed and fled down the hallway.

"Great.." Meredith groaned. Her eyes fell on two more young women, Dr. Jessica Adams and Dr. Chi Park, who sat playing cards. She tried to put on her best bright and shiny smile before she approached. "Hey, do you two have any idea where we could find Lexie Grey?"

"Around the corner, playing Scalpel jousting" said Chi, pointing.

"Thanks!" Meredith grinned.

"What's scalpel jousting?" asked Izzie, confused.

"Apparently, that" said Cristina as they rounded the corner.

At both ends of the hall, fully decked out in surgical masks and scrubcaps, two women sat perched on gurneys, scalpels outstretched in their hands, and charged towards each other. The girl closest to Meredith's group was struck, and flew through the air to land with an audible smack at their feet.

"Ooh" Izzie, as compassionate as she could be annoying, dropped to the girl's side, helping her into a sitting position. "That had to hurt. Are you okay?"

"I'm used to it" she sighed, rubbing the back of her neck.

Meredith was much more interested in the woman who had won. She had removed her mask and scrub cap, revealing her brown hair and icy blue eyes. She jumped off the gurney, welcomed by the cheers of a group of Doctors who went by the names of Kutner, Taub, Chase, Cameron, and Foreman. She didn't look entirely bright and shiny, either. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad having a sister after all.

"Strong, pretty, face of a leader" Meredith grinned. "Is Lexie a winner or what?"

"I'll say" Cristina smirked.

She and Meredith made a beeline for 'Lexie', stepping on the unfortunate girl on the floor as they went.

"Ouch!"

"Guys!" Izzie snapped.

"Sorry" said Meredith quickly, before moving on. She needed to reach her sister before she disappeared into the growing crowd. Izzie gave an apologetic shrug before hurrying after them.

"Wait!" the girl called after them, curious. "Did you just say you were looking for Lexie?"

"That is classified information" said Cristina haughtily, as the trio approached 'Lexie' and her gang, completely disregarding the girl on the floor.

"Hi" Meredith grinned as they reached 'Lexie', "This is your lucky day!"

"And who are you?" 'Lexie' asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm Meredith, your long lost sister, and you're gonna have to come with us to Seattle Grace. We'll explain everything on the way."

"I don't think so.." said 'Lexie', taking a few steps backwards.

"I was hoping it wouldn't have to go this way.." Meredith sighed. "Cristina, help me grab her."

"Gladly" Cristina grinned.

They seized hold of 'Lexie', draping her over their shoulders.

"Hey, put me down!" she shrieked.

"Well, this is familiar" said Izzie, remembering when they had first met Derek. "Relax, Lexie, things will be much easier if you don't fight it."

"I'm not Lexie!" 'Not-Lexie' cried.

"You're not?" asked Meredith, feeling embarrased.

"No!"

"That's Thirteen" said Cameron, before pointing at the girl from the floor who was disappearing around a corner at the end of the hallway. "THAT is Lexie."

Meredith and Cristina shared a look, dropped Thirteen, and took off down the hallway.

"Lexie! Lexie, wait up!"


	9. Meeting Lexipedia

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, Or Shrek.

AN: Just a reminder, NO SPOILERS PLEASE!

* * *

><p>"Lexie!" Meredith called as they roamed the halls, finding no sign of the girl. "Come on, we really need to talk to you, it's important! Oh, this is getting us nowhere.."<p>

"Interns" Cristina huffed. "Never around when you need them."

"Go easy Cris, we were all Interns once.." realising that Izzie would normally have been the one to make this comment, Meredith looked around, noticing her bright and shiny friend was somehow absent. "Where's Izzie?"

A short distance behind them, the blonde in question tumbled out of a supply closet, gasping.

"Iz, this is no time to be messing around" Meredith frowned.

"Messing around?" Izzie cried. "Some creepy guy with a cane shoved me in there!"

"Sure" said Cristina, rolling her eyes.

"It's true!"

* * *

><p>Eventually, they rounded a corner to see Lexie disappear into a door labeled 'Lecture Day Today. Attendance compulsory'. Not wanting to disturb anything, they quietly crept inside, only to find that Lexie was lost once more, apparently in the crowded bleachers.<p>

"And thank you to Dr. Taub for his speech on 'Why it is a bad idea to sleep with two women at the same time" said Dr. Lisa Cuddy, the Dean of Medicine, from her place before the podium at the centre of the room. "Now we.."

"Excuse me" Meredith cut in, "Sorry to interrupt, but we need to find Lexie Grey."

A few members of the crowd pointed to a pole meant to support a model skeleton, from which a defeated Lexie now dangled.

"Ha!" Thirteen guffawed. "That's classic!"

"Okay" Cuddy frowned, "Who did this?"

"My money's on her" said Izzie, pointing accusingly at Thirteen.

"I wish" Thirteen smirked. "It was him." She gestured to a middle aged man with a cane sitting in the corner and trying unsuccessfully to look innocent.

"Told you!" Izzie frowned, glaring at her slightly guilty companions.

"House" Cuddy sighed, rolling her eyes. "Why am I not surprised?"

"I can't help it, it's who I am" House shrugged, popping a few Vicodin.

"Come on guys, help me get her down" said Meredith, her friends rushing to help her pull the frigtened Lexie down from the pole.

As they did so, Meredith looked her sister over. Lexie had Dark hair pulled back in a short ponytail, and wide, soft brown eyes. A few chocolate bars were tucked into the pocket of her labcoat. She was every bit the bright and shiny girl Meredith had expected, and she could see no resemblance that would link them as sisters. Still, Lexie's first words caused a slight, involuntary tug at Meredith's heart.

"Please don't hurt me."

House cheered.

"We're not going to hurt you, Lexie" Meredith sighed. She released her grip on her sister, hoping to prove that she meant no harm, which was true. Why would she want to hurt her ticket home? She glanced in House's direction. "I'm really not going to hurt her."

"Aww.."

"You're not?" said Lexie, confused.

"No. Uh, I don't know if you know about me or not, but I'm Meredith, your half-sister" Meredith finally introduced herself. "And these are my friends, Izzie and Cristina."

"Oh.. oh yeah, Mom and Dad used to talk about you sometimes, before.." Lexie trailed off, seeming upset. "Nevermind. Um, why are you here, exactly?"

"Well, Richard Webber, the Chief Of Surgery at Seattle Grace Hospital had to uh.." Meredith paused, wondering exactly how much of this story to reveal.

"He had to go to a Conference" said Cristina.

"A really long one" added Izzie.

"Yeah" Meredith continued, smiling gratefully at her friends. "Anyway, he needs somebody to fill in until he gets back, and guess what? He picked you!"

"Me?" Lexie gasped, eyes wide with shock.

"Lexipedia? A Chief of Surgery?" Thirteen scoffed. "No way!"

"Yes way!" Izzie snapped, before a look of confusion crossed her face. "Uh, What's a Lexipedia?"

"It's what they call me, because of my stupid photographic memory.." Lexie sighed.

"Hey, that photographic memory is what makes you the perfect Interim Chief!" Izzie grinned.

"I'm really the first choice?"

"Lexie, you're the _only _choice" said Meredith with a slightly nervous chuckle, glaring Izzie into silence when she opened her mouth to object. "Now grab your labcoats and scrub caps, they're expecting us back at Seattle Grace tomorrow morning."

"Give me a minute" said Lexie, turning to the crowd and clearing her throat. "I think that this should be an important lesson for everybody. Maybe next time, before you dunk some poor nerd's head in the toilet, you might stop and think about how that person is feeling. Say to yourself, 'Hey, I should cut her some slack because who knows?' One day, they could become, oh, a Chief of Surgery?"

"Yeah!" shouted Martha M. Masters from the crowd. "You go, Lexie!"

"Thanks, Martha" Lexie grinned. "Now, you guys enjoy the rest of your Internships while I'm running my own Surgical Depatment!"

"Okay kid, let's try not to overdo it.."said Cristina.

"I'm gonna build my Hospital, on rock and roll!"

"And you over did it" Meredith rolled her eyes, tugging Lexie away by the elbow.

"I thought it was cool" Izzie grinned, giving Lexie a high-five.


	10. The Reverse Baby Shower

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, Or Shrek.

AN: Just a reminder, NO SPOILERS PLEASE!

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, back at Seattle Grace, since Meredith was absent, Adele, Alex (rather uncomfortably stuffed in a corner), the Attendings, the Oceansiders, all the bright and shinies, and the visiting Cardio Surgeon Colin Marlowe, decided to hold a Baby Shower for Derek instead. And, to help him get used to having children around, a few of them had brought along their own kids. Callie cradled baby Sofia, Pete bounced he and Violet's son, Lucas, on his knee, and Cooper's newly discovered eight-year old son, Mason, sat at his feet playing with his Pokemon cards. The Party was taking place in the conference room.<p>

"So, how'd it feel finding out you're gonna be a Dad?" asked Mark, slapping Derek on the arm. "It was one of the best days of my life when I found out about Sofia."

"It's great" Derek forced a smile. And he was happy, but in hindsight he realised that Meredith's apparently joyous reaction to the news of Zola's arrival may have been an act for his benefit, and he was slightly worried about how she really felt.

"Has Meredith been having any cravings?" asked Sheldon.

"I wouldn't think so, Sheldon" laughed Naomi. "That tends not to happen so much when you're adopting."

"Oh, of course.." said Sheldon, seeming a little embarassed.

"How about we do the presents now?" Adele suggested.

"Yay, present time!" said Arizona, clapping her hands.

"Pwesents?" Lucas looked up.

"Not for you, buddy" Pete chuckled, ruffling his hair.

With this information, Lucas lost interest, and went back to playing with his Teddy Bear.

"Open ours first, Doctor Shepherd!" said Steve, eagerly thrusting a package and card into Derek's hand.

Derek, doing the polite thing, opened the card first.

"To Meredith and Derek, congratulations on your new little mess-maker" Derek read, smiling. "Hope this helps. Love, the Interns." He ripped open the package to find.. a small plastic bag and a pooper scooper.

"It's for the poopies" said Steve proudly.

"I can see that" Derek forced a smile. "Thanks."

Megan and Pierce glared at Steve, although it was really their fault for leaving him in charge of the present.

"Do you need some help?" asked Violet gently, entering therapist mode..

"No, he's just an idiot" said Bailey, rolling her eyes.

"And sometimes he doesn't know when to shut up" said Teddy.

"But he did come in handy when I ran that Trauma workshop" added Owen.

"Okay, let's stop picking on poor Steve and get on with the presents!" said Arizona. Everyone murmured in agreement, while Violet slipped Steve her card. "Calliope, I'm going to have to borrow Sofia for a minute." Arizona continued, taking their daughter from her Wife's arms.

"No problem" Callie chuckled.

"And Mark, George, come here and help me.."

"This present's from the four of us" said George happily.

Arizona and Sofia were blocked from view, as boxes rustled and buckles clicked. Then, Mark and George stepped aside to reveal Arizona, Sofia strapped to her chest in a little baby carrier.

"Ta-da!" she, Mark, and George chorused.

"We have one of these for Sofia" Arizona smiled, running a hand over the baby's dark hair, so much like Callie's. "She loves it, being able to look out and see the world, don't you Sof?"

"Thanks, guys" Derek smiled. "I'm sure Zola will love it too."

"Ooh, me next!" said Addison, indicating a scarily large package. "Mine's the biggest because I love you most!"

"Don't let Meredith hear you say that" Jackson frowned.

Derek, slightly wary, pulled on the ribbon around the package, and it fell open to reveal Dell, in pink scrubs, with a bonnet atop his head.

"Okay, where's the baby?" he asked, rubbing his hands together.

"She's not here yet" said Derek, who was very, very, confused. "Addison, what the hell is this all about?"

"Dell's going to be your live-in babysitter" Addison grinned.

"It's a nice thought" Derek frowned, "But I don't think we need one. What will he do?"

"He could do the cleaning.." said Teddy.

"Feeding.." added Sam.

"Burping.." said Owen.

"That's nice and all, but then what's left for Meredith and I to do?" Derek asked.

"Well, the obvious answer is to work on your Marriage" Dr. Marlowe smirked.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Derek frowned.

"Come on, Shepherd, you must know what kids'll do to you" said Owen.

"You're tired all the time" Teddy sighed.

"You start letting yourself go.." said Addison.

"And you can say goodbye to romance" Marlowe finished.

"Excuse me" Derek stood, annoyed, "But do any of you saying this stuff actually _have _kids?"

Owen, Teddy, Addison, and Marlowe all looked sheepish.

"Didn't think so" Derek crossed his arms, sitting back down.

"Kids do change things" said Alex from his cramped corner, "But there are _way_ more positives than negatives."

"Alex is right" Callie agreed. "A baby will only strengthen the love Meredith and Derek share. Everyone knows that Arizona and I went through a rough patch before Sofia. I know we're not the most traditional example, but still, look how happy we are now!"

"We don't have the most normal set up either" said Cooper, "My boy came right out of the blue, but now we couldn't imagine life without Mason, could we Char?"

"Nope" Charlotte grinned, ruffling the boy's hair.

"So" said Mark with a smile, none of them noticing Alex squinting out the window at something in the distance, "What did Meredith say when you broke the news?"

"What did she say? What did she say?" Arizona bounced excitedly, making Sofia giggle."

"Well" Derek began, "She.."

He was cut off when Alex suddenly stood, eyes wide as they stared out the window, accidently knocking over the remaining presents.

"We're gonna have to cut this party short, guys. We've got trouble!"


	11. Invasion

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, Or Shrek.

AN: Just a reminder, NO SPOILERS PLEASE! Also, note that apart from Marlowe, who is the traitorous Rapunzel, none of the others really have a single Princess that they represent. The 'Princess' roles are pretty much just shared across everybody at the party in the previous chapter.

* * *

><p>Alex was right. They did have trouble. <em>Big <em>Trouble. Rose and her new flunkies were fast approaching Seattle Grace in a fleet of magical flying Ambulances. Many of them were parachuting down into the streets, terrorising innocent civilians.

"Go forward, my new friends, and get your Happily Ever Afters!" yelled Rose.

"So, we meet again little Betsey" said Fife, rolling towards a woman clinging to the hand of a young blonde-haired girl.

"Her name's not Betsey!" the woman cried, pulling her daughter back.

Some of the Ambulances were dropping smoke bombs.

The Dead Baby Bikers had taken over Joe's Bar, leaving the poor Barman tied up out the front as a message not to cross them.

"Onward, to Seattle Grace!" Rose cried.

Alex and the Spawnlings fought valiantly to defend the Hospital, before becoming tangled in huge nets dropped from the Ambulance.

"You won't get away with this, Rose!" The Evil-Spawn roared.

* * *

><p>Back in the Conference Room, Arizona, George, Bailey, The Interns, and the Mercy Westers were trying to barricade the door before Rose's troops arrived.<p>

"This isn't going to hold for long" George gasped.

"I know" Bailey frowned. "Doctor Shepherd, you know they're going to be gunning for you. We'll hold 'em off for as long as we can, but you need to take Mrs. Webber and the others and get the Hell out of here."

"How?" Charlotte frowned. "We've just barricaded ourselves in!"

"Oh God, we're all going to die!" Teddy panicked.

"Not quite" said Adele, tapping the correct spot to open up a hidden passage in the wall. "Everyone, this way!"

The Oceansiders and attendings rushed in.

"Arizona, come on!" Callie called.

Arizona closed her eyes and took a deep breath, savouring Sofia's lingering new baby smell, before unbuckling her and handing her over to Callie.

Callie's eyes widened, realising what she meant.

"Arizona, no!"

* * *

><p>Now right outside the conference room, Rose, Sadie, Stark, Fife, Dr. Baylow, and Gary Clark were using a gurney as a battering ram to try and smash down the door.<p>

"Put some muscle into it!" Rose shrieked.

* * *

><p>"I can't leave you behind again!" Callie wailed.<p>

"Calliope, listen to me" said Arizona, squeezing her Wife's hand. "I'm a good man in a storm. I can't just run away and leave our friends in danger. I have to stay and help, but I can't do that if I'm worrying about you. You and Mark need to get Sofia somewhere safe. I need to stay here, and keep these crazy people as far away from my family as possible. We'll catch up as soon as we can. Okay?"

"Okay" Callie sniffed.

Behind them, the door began to splinter. Arizona stole a quick kiss, then pushed Callie and Sofia into the secret passage.

"Take care of them, Mark!"

"Always!" he called back, before she shut the wall behind them.

* * *

><p>Soon after, Rose and her cronies exploded into the room.. to find Meredith's bright and shiny friends having a tea party.<p>

"Hello, Rose" said Arizona, sounding entirely too perky. Sadie thought that underneath she seemed like she was worried about something, then shook her head. This was the enemy, it didn't matter what she was worried about. "Would you or your friends like some tea?"

"Where are Meredith and Derek?" Rose scowled.

"Who?" asked George innocently.

"Names doesn't ring a bell" said Jackson.

"Nope, no bell" April giggled nervously.

"No 'Merediths' or 'Dereks' here" said Reed.

"Don't play dumb with me, I know you're their friends!" Rose yelled, slamming a fist on the table. "You lot had better co-operate, because soon, I will rule this Hospital!"

"The only thing you're going to rule is the Land of the Stupids!" Arizona growled.

"Really, Robbins?" Bailey raised an eyebrow. "'Land of the Stupids'? That was the best you could come up with?"

"I'm surrounded by kids all day, what do you.. Eep!" Arizona yelped, finding Gary Clark's gun aimed directly at her forehead.

"Start talking" he ordered.

"But I really don't know.. um.." Arizona panicked, beginning to sweat. "There are only children here!"

Gary pressed the gun right up to Arizona's skin. The other bright and shinies didn't dare move for fear of startling him into firing.

"Tell the truth!"

Arizona's life flashed before her eyes..

* * *

><p><em>"When you're not upset, when you're over being upset, there's gonna be people lining up for you."<em>

_"Wanna give me some names?" chuckled Callie, skeptical. _

_With a small smile, Arizona leaned forward and kissed Callie square on the lips._

_"I think you'll know."_

* * *

><p><em>More memories of Callie. Eating Pizza, kissing in the stairwell, their first 'I love you'..<em>

* * *

><p><em>They bolted through the forest, Sydney's bright and shiny patrol in hot pursuit. A stone caught in the wheel of Arizona's heelys, and she fell with a thud.<em>

_"Arizona!" Callie cried._

_"Run, Calliope!" Arizona screamed, as Sydney's flunkies closed in. "I'll catch up later, just run!"_

* * *

><p><em>Sydney taunted Arizona with her confiscated heelys.<em>

* * *

><p><em>Arizona and Callie's tearful reunion, Sofia's dramatic birth, their Wedding..<em>

* * *

><p>Back in reality, the emotional trauma of being separated from her family and having a gun pressed to her skull in the space of just a few minutes had taken it's toll on Arizona, who appeared to have had a nervous breakdown, and was currently curled in a ball on the floor singing.<p>

_"On the good ship, Lollipop, It's a sweet trip to the candy shop.."_

"Well, she's useless" Dr Baylow frowned.

"You!" cried Rose, aiming her scalpel at George. "You're a really bad liar! Tell me where Meredith is!"

"Well, I don't know where she's not" said George.

"So you don't know where she is?" asked Rose, confused.

"It would be accurate to assume that I cannot say that statement is or isn't almost partially correct."

"So you do know where she is!" Rose grinned.

"No" George smirked. "I am possibly, more or less, definitely not rejecting the idea that in no way, with any amount of uncertainty.."

April was beginning to get overwhelmed with the drama of it all.

"Stop that!" Rose shrieked. "You're doing this on purpose to confuse me!

"Maybe" said George. "I undeniably do or do not know where they shouldn't probably be."

"Enough! Tell me the truth!"

"No" said George. "I'd rather die than betray Meredith."

"Then die!" cried Rose, raising the scalpel to plunge it into his chest.

"STOP!" April screamed, jumping up and knocking the scalpel from Rose's hand. "Meredith went to pick up the new Interim Chief!" As soon as she realised what she had done, April clapped a hand over her mouth, but it was too late.

"New Chief, huh?" Rose smirked, retrieving her fallen scalpel, before turning to her followers. "Gary, Stark, Sadie, Fife, get these bright and shiny idiots locked up. Dr. Baylow, I have a special job for you.

"What?" Baylow asked.

"Take some of the Dead Baby Bikers and scalpel heads and take care of this new 'Chief'" said Rose sinisterly, leaving the bright and shinies in no doubt as to what she meant by 'take care of'.

"You can't, she's just an Intern!" cried Bailey. "She's no real threat to you!"

"Then she should be all the easier to dispose of" Rose grinned evilly, turning back to Baylow. "But remember, I need Meredith alive. I've got something special planned for her.."

* * *

><p>AN: Is it wrong that I can totally see Arizona singing that song?<p> 


	12. Sibling Rivalry

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, Or Shrek.

AN: NO SPOILERS PLEASE!

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Meredith, her friends, and her newfound sister Lexie had boarded the Ferry back to Seattle Grace, unaware of the chaos currently unfolding there.<p>

"You're going to love Seattle Grace, Lexie" said Izzie with a smile. "Being Chief there, you and your photographic memory are gonna get the respect you deserve!"

"I still can't believe it. Me, a Chief of Surgery!" Lexie grinned. "And Meredith, finally meeting you, my sister.. I mean, I knew you existed, but I thought you mustn't have known about me, or you did and didn't care.."

"Me, not care about you? That's crazy talk!" said Meredith, sounding just a little over-enthusiastic. "I, uh, just didn't want to disrupt your life or anything. But then Dr. Webber chose you as Interim Chief and I thought, 'Hey, what a perfect chance to meet you!'"

"Wow" Lexie beamed, and Meredith felt a small pang of guilt at her lie. "That's.. wow. I know this Chief thing won't be all fun and games.."

"But it _is _all fun and games!" said Meredith, not wanting to discourage her sister from taking the job. "You get to choose the new Chief Resident, launch a few Ferry Boats.. By the way, careful when you're hitting them with the bottle."

"What's to be careful about?" Lexie chuckled. "A two year old could hit a boat with a bottle!"

"Hey, it's harder than it looks!" Meredith snapped. Lexie gave her a strange look. "I mean, from what I've heard.."

"Yeah, really hard" Cristina smirked. Meredith glared at her.

"This is going to be great!" said Lexie, excited. "Parties, Cute Attendings, Cool surgeries, and Cute Attendings.."

"You said 'Cute Attendings' twice" Meredith frowned.

"It'll be awesome, Lexie" said Izzie. "You'll have the great Chefs in the Cafeteria, ready to meet your every order.

"Sounds great" Lexie sighed, almost drooling.

"And your food tasters" added Cristina.

Meredith's eyes widened, and she began making mad gestures for her friends to shut up.

"What do they do?" asked Lexie, confused.

"They taste the food before you eat it to make sure it's not poisoned" Izzie grinned.

"Poisoned?" Lexie yelped.

"Or too salty!" cried Meredith desperately.

"There's a whole world of crazy people out there who'll want to kill you and take your job" Izzie continued, ignorant of Meedith's attempts to shut her up.

"But don't worry" said Cristina. "You'll have your Bodyguards, ready to sacrifice their lives at a second's notice in devotion to you!"

Lexie gulped.

"But that hardly ever happens!" Meredith panicked.

"The whole Surgical department will look to you for wisdom and guidance" said Izzie.

"They will?" asked Lexie nervously.

"Yeah" Izzie replied. "Just make sure nobody gets blown up by a patient with a bomb inside him."

"Or drowns in the harbour after a Ferry accident.." added Cristina

"Or no ambulances collide.."

"Or nobody gets hit by a bus.."

"Or shot by a slightly deranged family member who thinks you didn't do enough to save their loved one.."

"Or that nobody messes with the results of a clinical trial.."

"Iz, Cristina, shut up!" Meredith snapped. "You're giving her the wrong idea about.."

Suddenly, the Ferry boat veered sharply to the side, causing Izzie to lose her footing and go sliding down the deck, and almost over the edge of the boat if Cristina hadn't lassoed her with a nearby lifesaver.

Meredith turned to see Lexie, having knocked out The Captain, spinning the wheel like mad to try and turn back the way they had come.

"What the hell are you doing?" she yelled, shoving her sister aside and taking the wheel herself.

"What did you think I was doing?" Lexie snapped, also grabbing the wheel and beginning a tug of war for control. "I've decided I'm not going to Seattle Grace!"

"You don't have a choice!"

"I don't know anything about being a Chief!"

"You'll learn on the job!" Meredith growled.

The boat rocked dangerously as the sisters battled, sending the others skidding uncontrollably around the deck.

"Nooo!" Izzie yelped, making a last ditch grab for The Captain before the poor unconscious man slipped over the edge. "We lost The Captain! Addison is going to kill us!"

"If those two keep this up, she won't have to!" Cristina yelled.

"Just let it go, Meredith" Lexie groaned with the effort of fighting her sister. "I'm not cut out for this job, I'm going back!"

"Back to what?" Meredith spat. "Being a loser?" She knew as soon as she said it that she had gone too far.

Lexie, stung, released her grip on the wheel. It looked like her sister really didn't care about her afterall.

Meredith sighed, and spun the wheel to turn the boat toward Seattle once and for all. It snapped right off. In her frustration, any guilt about her words to Lexie evaporated.

"Now look what you've done!"

"Me?" Lexie snapped, eyes narrowed. "You're the one holding the wheel!"

"Uh, guys.." Cristina's eyes widened as they fell on some jagged rocks just ahead of the boat.

"You started this whole thing!" Meredith retorted.

"Guys.." Cristina panicked.

"I just wanted to go home!" Lexie cried.

"Well too.."

"Guys, we're going to crash!" Cristina screamed, too late, as the boat smashed against the rocks.

"Land Ho!" Izzie yelled. Everybody glared at her. "What?"


	13. The Middle Of Nowhere

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, Or Shrek.

AN: NO SPOILERS PLEASE!

* * *

><p>Thankfully, land was nearby, so the group bailed from the smashed boat and swam for shore.<p>

"Man, what a day" Izzie groaned as she exited the water, wringing out her hair.

"You said it" Cristina agreed.

Meredith glared at Lexie.

"Now what, Your Chiefliness?"

"So I'm 'Your Chiefliness' now?" Lexie scowled. "What happened to 'Loser'?"

"Lexie, Mer was just upset" said Izzie. "She didn't mean that."

"Yes she did!" Lexie yelled, trying to hide her still obvious hurt beneath a mask of anger. "We're stranded in the middle of nowhere thanks to her!"

"Oh come on, it's not all that bad" said Cristina. "All we have to do is find another boat back to Seattle.."

"I'm not going to Seattle!" Lexie turned and began marching away from the group. "I'm not ready for any of this!"

"You don't have a choice!" Meredith yelled, stomping after her. "You're coming back to Seattle Grace, and you're going to be a Mother!"

Lexie looked back at her, confused.

"What?"

"A Chief!" Meredith quickly corrected herself, realising she had projected her own problem onto her sister, who, as it turned out, was having a very similar one. Both were being thrown into situations that they weren't even remotely ready for. "You're going to be Chief!"

"'You're going to be Chief!'" Lexie mocked in a sing-song tone, before storming off once again.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" Meredith yelled.

"Far, far, away.. From you!"

"Oh no! Alexandra Caroline Grey, you get your little butt back here right now!"

"Mer, I don't think you're gonna get her back that way" Cistina frowned.

"Yeah" agreed Izzie. "If you want to get anywhere with your sister, you're gonna have to change your tactics."

"I guess you're right.." Meredith sighed. She picked up a heavy piece of driftwood, waving it like a club. "How about this?"

"Could work.." Cristina mused.

"No!" Izzie snapped, knocking the wood from Meredith's hand. "Violence is no way to handle this!"

"I was only joking.." Mereddith pouted.

"Mer" Izzie continued "When are you planning on telling Lexie that you and Derek were supposed to be Interim Chiefs?"

"I'm not" Meredith frowned. "She'll be ten times better at it than me."

"Maybe. Thing is, Lexie's still just an Intern we're dragging away from the only world she knows, to do a job she's technically not qualified for. And that's by _your _choice, Meredith, not hers. She probably needs a little time to get used to the whole thing."

"You're right, Iz" Meredith sighed. "Why are you always right?"

"It's a gift" Izzie grinned.

"So what do you think I should do?"

"Try to relate to her, get on her level. If you're lucky, maybe even bond a little."

"I think it's a bit too late for sisterly bonding, Iz."

"You won't know unless you try" Izzie pointed out. "You're family, Meredith. If that means anything to Lexie, and I think it does, she'll forgive you eventually."

"I guess it wouldn't hurt to give it a shot.."

* * *

><p>Lexie sighed as she walked through a nearby forest. Where was she going to go? If she went back to Mass-Gen now, having given up an Interim Chief position out of fear, she would be ridiculed as an even bigger loser than when she left. And she couldn't go home to her Father (<em>Their <em>Father, she mentally corrected herself, thinking of Meredith), because, well, she couldn't deal with that right now.

"Lexie!"

She turned to see Meredith and her friends catching up to her, and groaned, speeding up a little.

"Lexie, wait!" Meredith ran after her sister, but stopped a short distance behind her, not wanting to cramp her space for fear of making things worse. Remembering that Lexie was her younger sister, she tried to be cool. "Hey Lexie, if you think this mad scene ain't dope, I feel you babe. I mean, I don't want to get all up in your grill or raise your roof or whatever.."

"Eugh, really Mer?" Izzie groaned, embarassed.

"She's an Intern, not a rapper!" Cristina yelled.

Lexie rolled her eyes, then grinned as she spotted a Medical Practice building in a nearby clearing.

Meredith continued to embarrass herself.

"If you don't get the groove or what I'm saying ain't trippin', just say 'Oh no you di'int!' and then.. then I'll know it's uh, whack.." Suddenly, Meredith was 'whacked' in the face by a branch Lexie had pulled out of her way.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that that didn't work" Cristina frowned.

Lexie bolted toward the Practice, and began beating on the door.

"Help!"

"Oh, come on!" Meredith groaned, chasing after her once again.

"Help! I've been kidnapped by my Dark and Twisty half-sister, and she's trying to bond with me!"

"Hey, I never said I was dark and twisty" Meredith frowned as she approached, pulling her sister away from the door.

"I think it's kind of obvious at this point!" Lexie snapped, turning back and continuing to bang on the door. "Help, help!"

"Lexie, stop it!" Meredith yelled.

"Help!"

Suddenly, a hologram of a somewhat familiar head burst out of the door.

"Ahhh!" Meredith and Lexie yelped, Lexie instinctively leaping into her sister's arms, making them look like Shaggy and Scooby-Doo.

"Ahh!" Izzie echoed, jumping onto Cristina's back. "What the hell is that?"

"Get off me!" Cristina growled.

_"Greetings, oh Cosmic children of the Universe, and Welcome to the Serenity Circle!" _The Hologram boomed. _"Please leave any bad vibes outside of the healing vortex. Now.." _The hologram began to flicker, as smoke and sparks spewed from the building.

A rather small, unimposing person in surgical scrubs stumbled out, coughing and spluttering.

"I knew I should have got that warranty!"

Meredith and Lexie looked at each other, embarrassed, and Meredith set Lexie down.

The person removed her mask and scrub cap, and Meredith was surprised to see she recognised her.

"Amelia?" she and Lexie gasped in unison. The sisters turned to each other, surprised. "You know her?"

Cristina raised an eyebrow.

"Well, this is interesting."


	14. A Journey To The Soul

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, Or Shrek.

AN: NO SPOILERS PLEASE! And Juni, for the purposes of this story, Lexie and Amelia have encountered each other briefly in the past. Also, they do meet in ep 8x15 of Grey's, if you haven't seen that yet.

* * *

><p>"She came to Mass-Gen once when she was a Fellow with that hotshot Neuro surgeon" Lexie explained. "I heard she went rogue on a patient and got fired.. You?"<p>

"She's Derek's sister" Meredith sighed, before turning back to their new companion, who was now smashing the faulty holographic projector. "Amelia, aren't you supposed to be at his Baby Shower thing?"

The youngest Dr. Shepherd looked up, surprised.

"That was Today?"

"Yes.." said Meredith, thinking her sister-in-law seemed a little off today.

"Oops" Amelia chuckled sheepishly. "You'll have to apologise to him for me. But, you know I'm in the process of recovering from a drug problem, right?"

"Yeah" Meredith nodded. "Uh, how's that going?"

"Good!" Amelia grinned. "As part of my recovery, I'm taking a short escape to the tranquility of nature to find my divine purpose." A fly buzzed past Amelia's face. "Back off! Don't give me any bad vibes!" she shrieked, batting the fly away before turning back to our heroes, seemingly calm once again. "Anyone for snacks and beverages?"

"We're kind of strapped for time" Cristina forced a smile, as she and Izzie took a few steps backwards. "So no."

"Aw, come on" Amelia rushed back into the practice, and soon returned with a tray of cupcakes with rocks quite obviously poking out of them. "Don't you want to try some of my famous Rock au Gratin cupcakes?" She took a bite of one, and the group winced at the crunch. Amelia grinned, now sporting one chipped tooth. "Very organic!"

"Do you really think she's sober?" Izzie whispered to Cristina.

"No" Cristina replied, "But do you see anyone else popping up to help us?"

"Really, no thanks" Meredith chuckled nervously. "I, uh, just ate a boulder on my way here. What _would_ be great is if you could tell us the way back to Seattle Grace from here.."

"I still didn't say I was going" Lexie frowned.

"I know. _I _did" Meredith poked a finger at Lexie's chest, apparently forgetting her earlier decision to try a gentler approach. "You've got a lot of people counting on you, and I'm not going to let you weasel out of it!"

"Uh, guys.." Amelia tried to cut in.

"If it's such a great job, why don't _you_ do it?" Lexie scowled.

"I'm not good with confrontations.." said Amelia nervously.

"That's it!" Meredith snapped, "No more Miss Nice Girl!"

"_That _was your Miss Nice girl?" Lexie scoffed.

"Yeah, and I'm going to miss her!"

"Please stop.."

"Why don't you just go mess with other people's emotions and leave me alone!" Lexie yelled.

"Ouch" Izzie winced.

"That was harsh" Cristina agreed.

"Oh, making a little crack about dark and twisty people, huh?" Meredith growled. "Well, if you don't get your little butt to Seattle Grace I'll kick it there myself!"

"STOP!" Amelia shrieked, forcing the others to cover their ears. "STOP! PLEASE, JUST STOP!"

"Okay, okay, we'll stop!" cried Meredith.

"They've stopped arguing, now for the love of god, shut up!" Cristina yelled.

Amelia slowly began to calm down.

"Deep healing breaths, deep healing breaths.. Okay, feeling a little better.."

"Great! So, about our directions to Seattle Grace.." Meredith prodded.

"Well, I could tell you, if you two" she pointed at The Sisters Grey, "Weren't in the middle of a self-destructive rage spiral."

"Self-destructive rage spiral?" asked Lexie, eyes widening slightly. Were they really that bad?

"Amelia, are you going to help us or not?" Meredith frowned.

"Sure. But only after you take.. A Journey To Your Soul!" She wiggled her fingers spookily.

"Yeah, not going to happen" said Meredith, crossing her arms.

"Well, it's either that or Primal Scream Therapy." Amelia took a deep breath, and Meredith clapped a hand over her mouth.

"Journey To The Soul it is!"

* * *

><p>That night, the group sat around a campfire. It seemed like a normal fire to the others, but Amelia swore it held the answer to their heart's deepest fears and desires.<p>

"Alright" she began, "Meredith, look into the Fires of Truth and tell me what you see."

Meredith rolled her eyes, but did as she was told. She yelped as the image of a crib seemed to form in the smoke, and quickly blew it away.

"I see a Craniotomy!" she grinned a little too widely, hoping to hide the truth.

Amelia raised an eyebrow as though she didn't really believe her, but didn't push it.

"Okay. Lexie, how about you?"

"This is stupid.." Lexie grumbled. Amelia slapped her in the back of the head. Ouch!"

"The only thing stupid is the one who said it! Now look!"

"Okay" Lexie sighed, gazing into the smoke. "I see.. I see a nest, with a Mother Bird and a Father Bird, and two babies." A small smile spread across her face. "Oh.. but now the second baby bird is going off to have her own babies. There's something wrong with the Mother Bird, she's dying, she.. She's dead." Lexie was fighting back tears. "Now the Father Bird.. The Father Bird has his own problems now, he doesn't have time for the other baby bird. He's ignoring her. He doesn't realise she still needs him. She still needs him!"

Seeing the younger girl in such distress, Amelia quickly doused the fire.

Everyone stared at Lexie, shocked.

"I get it, okay?" Lexie yelled, tears streaming down her face. "The last baby bird is me. So what?" She fled from the group, sobbing. "So what?"

Meredith felt a little sick. Lexie's life obviously wasn't as bright and shiny as she thought. Hating herself, she raced of after her little sister.

* * *

><p>Meredith soon found her laying atop a nearby hill staring up at the stars, wiping the occasional tear from her eyes.<p>

"Lexie.."

_"Keep smilin', keep shinin', knowing you can always count on me, for sure. That's what friends are for!"_

"Amelia!" Meredith snapped, annoyed.

"I thought I could set the mood" Amelia shrugged. "For your heart to heart chat."

Meredith glared at her.

"Okay, leaving now.." Amelia slowly backed away down the hill.

"Lexie, I'm sorry" Meredith sighed. "I didn't know about your Mom.."

"I know you want me to be the Chief" said Lexie softly. "But I can't.."

"I know what it feels like to not feel ready for something" said Meredith, laying beside her. "It's okay to be afraid. Even dark and twisty people get scared sometimes."

"I'm not just scared. I'm not cut out for this job. Nobody's going to take orders from a stupid little Intern just because she has a photographic memory. Our Dad didn't listen when I asked him to get sober.."

"For what it's worth, I don't have great memories of our Dad either" Meredith sighed again. "He was just the guy who poured my cereal in the Morning. And the guy who didn't fight for me when my Mother kicked him out." She paused. "Though I guess to be fair, my Mom wasn't the easiest person to fight."

"Doesn't matter" Lexie murmured. "A child needs someone to fight for them, since they can't do it for themselves."

"That's exactly what my friend Arizona says" Meredith smiled. "She's a Peds Attending, you'd like her."

"Was your Mom really that bad?"

"She tried to kill herself while I was in the room."

"What?" Lexie gasped.

"Mhmm. She survived though, I remembered how to call an Ambulance in time."

They fell silent for a while.

"I.." Lexie started. "Nevermind.."

"What?" Meredith frowned.

"It's probably stupid.."

"Lexie, tell me" Meredith prodded."

"I wish you'd grown up with us" she said finally. "Dad was great when we were kids, the problems only started after Mom died."

"I think I would have liked that too. And Lexie, I'm sorry I called you a loser."

"It's okay. Everybody else does.."

"That is exactly why it's _not _okay" Meredith frowned.

"Even if I am one?" Lexie sighed.

Meredith frowned. Somebody had _really _messed this girl up.

"Hey, I know it might be hard to believe with my obviously sweet disposition" Meredith batted her eyelashes, making Lexie giggle, "But people used to say some pretty horrible things about me. And for a while, I believed them. But, if you're strong enough, you can choose to ignore the names people call you and just trust who you are."

Lexie was silent, mulling over Meredith's words.

"Meredith?"

"Mmhmm?"

"As sisters go, you're not bad."

"Thanks, Lexie" Meredith smiled. "You know it's weird, but on my first adventure with Izzie, when I rescued Derek, I was telling her some constellations I made up. One of them was you."

"Really?"

"Yeah" Meredith chuckled. "She thought you were the Moon."

Lexie collapsed into a fit of giggles, and as she and her sister laughed together, Meredith began to think that things might turn out okay after all.


	15. Betrayal

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, Or Shrek.

AN: Take a close look at the new cover pic for this fic. Cool, huh? I've done it for the first two as well.

* * *

><p>If only that were true. Back at Seattle Grace, the bright and shinies had been taken into custody by Rose's flunkies, while Derek and Adele continued to lead the other Attendings, Marlowe, and the Oceansiders along the secret passage.<p>

Callie clutched Sofia tightly to her chest, while Violet tried to do the same with a squirming Lucas.

"Mason, make sure you stay close to Charlotte and me, okay?" Cooper instructed his son.

"Okay, Dad."

"It smells like crap down here" Naomi complained.

"It is crap" said Addison. "I used to work here. This passage runs right along Seattle Grace's sewer line."

"Yeah, that whole sewer thing's not working for me" said Teddy, nose wrinkling.

"Everything'll be alright, guys" said Derek, trying to keep up everybody's spirits. "The passage isn't much longer."

"What do you have to complain about anyway?" Mark asked Teddy. "You and Hunt would have faced much worse in Iraq."

"True.." Teddy admitted.

"But things are different in the heat of War" said Owen, defending his friend.

"So, by your reasoning, War makes poo smell less like poo?" Marlowe smirked.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Owen frowned.

"Easy, boys" Adele lightly scolded. "We need to work together if we're going to get through this."

"Work together to do what exactly?" Sam asked.

"To figure out Rose's plan and hopefully, put a stop to it" said Derek, determined.

"But the hospital is crawling with freaks and gang members!" cried Marlowe. "Surely you don't expect us to.."

"I expect us to honour the sacrifice our friends made for us!" Derek snapped. "I'm not going to leave them in the clutches of a crazy bitch like Rose!"

"She is kinda cute, though."

Everybody stared at Sheldon in disbelief.

"I, uh, haven't got any in a while" he explained, slightly embarassed.

"Just don't get any crazy ideas" said Charlotte, as the group continued on.

"There's the ladder back to the surface!" said Adele, pointing.

"Ladies first" Derek smiled, giving a little bow, before helping Adele onto the first rung.

Adele climbed up the ladder and peeked out the hatch. Once sure the coast was clear, she climbed out and ducked behind a tree when she saw a few Scalpel-heads patrolling, before peeking out to get a better idea of their surroundings.

"Adele, what do you see?" asked Derek, peeking out of the hatch.

"We're in the Hospital courtyard, but there's a lot of those strange scalpel-headed people walking around" She whispered. "Quick, pass the children out first."

Callie reluctantly handed Sofia over to Derek, who passed her up to Adele. He then took Lucas from Violet, lifted him to safety too, before climbing out himself to give Mason room on the ladder.

Before long, the group were all out in the open air, huddled behind the tree.

"Now what?" asked Pete.

Derek thought for a moment.

"We need to get inside. Owen, think you can call on your old Army training to make it happen?"

"I can try" said Owen.

"I'll bring up the rear, and cover us from behind" said Teddy.

Slowly, they ducked from tree to tree, before reaching the hospital wall, and edging slowly along it.

Derek frowned as he saw a group of Dead Baby bikers building what looked like a stage. What was Rose up to?

The Hospital doors were now in sight.

"Okay" Owen began, "Everybody stay put until.."

Marlowe dashed off ahead.

"Marlowe, come back!" Mark hissed.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Derek snapped.

"We're almost there!" Marlowe yelled, running through the doors. "Come on!"

Feeling as if they had no choice, the group followed.

* * *

><p>They burst through into Seattle Grace just in time to see Rose grabbing Marlowe's wrist.<p>

"Let him go, Rose!" Derek growled.

"And why would I want to do that?" Rose grinned evilly, and then, to Derek and the other's horror, pulled Marlowe into a kiss.

Callie, who seemed to have been in a trauma induced silence since being separated from Arizona once again, found her voice.

"Does anyone else wanna hurl right now?"

"Yup" Addison replied, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

Before anyone had time to absorb what had just happened, the group found themselves surrounded by Dead Baby Bikers and Scalpel-Heads.

Mark, Pete, and Cooper leapt protectively in front of Callie, clutching Sofia, Violet, still holding Lucas, and Charlotte, who, having come to love her Husband's son as if he were her own, had instinctively pushed Mason behind her.

"What's going on?" asked Derek, unable to believe what he was seeing.

"Isn't it obvious?" Rose smirked. "I can't run this place myself, being a Nurse. So.." She gestured to Marlowe, "Meet Seattle Grace's new Chief of Surgery!"

"Why are we surprised by this?" Mark frowned, looking around at his friend's shocked expressions. "The guy was always a pompous jerk!"

"Oh, Colin" said Adele, sounding disappointed. "How could you?"

"I wanted to be Chief" Marlowe shrugged. "Rose offered me that."

"In exchange for what?" Owen growled. "Selling out your friends?"

"Really, a bunch of second rate Doctors like you are a small price to pay."

"Why you.." Owen lunged, but Teddy jerked him back before he could meet with a Scalpel-head's blade.

"If you'd all excuse us, we have a show to put on" said Rose, before turning to her followers. "Lock them in the Basement."

"You won't get away with this, Rose!" Derek yelled, as two Dead Baby Bikers grabbed his arms to drag him away. "Soon, Meredith will be back with the New Chief!"

"Don't you get it, Shepherd?" Rose scowled. "The moment your little dark and twisty Wife sets foot near this Hospital, she's done for! Besides being way outnumbered, once she knows I have you" Rose pinched Derek's cheek, making him feel sick, "I know she will do anything to keep you safe. _I _have the power now."

She waved for her flunkies to take the group away.

As he and his friends were shoved roughly into the basement, Derek felt completely helpless. Who would warn Meredith?


	16. Attack!

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, Or Shrek.

AN: Take a close look at the new cover pic for this fic. Cool, huh? I've done it for the first two as well.

* * *

><p>Meredith woke with a start, seeming to sense that something was amiss with her Husband. She tried to sit up, but couldn't, and upon closer inspection found Lexie's arms wrapped around her waist, with the younger girl's head resting on her chest. Meredith couldn't help the small smile that spread over her face before she gently shook her sister awake.<p>

"Morning" Lexie sat up, yawning. "Whoa, were we out here all night?"

"Yeah" Meredith frowned. "We'd better be getting back to.."

"MEREDITH!" Izzie screamed, appearing over the top of the hill, "We're under attack!"

"Attack?" said Meredith, confused. "By who?"

"Dr. Baylow, a few Scalpel-heads, and the Dead Baby Bikers" Izzie panted. "Cristina's holding them off."

"There's something fishy about this" Meredith frowned, running back to help her friend. "Lexie, you try and stay out of this, okay?"

"Okay."

* * *

><p>"Baylow, what are you and these goons doing here?" they heard Cristina yell as they approached the battle.<p>

"Our job!" Baylow spat. "Kill them all, except the Dark and Twisty one. Nurse Rose has special plans for her!"

"Nurse Rose?" Meredith gasped.

"Yes, she's in charge of Seattle Grace now, and she's probably captured your stupid Hobo Husband now too" Baylow smirked.

Meredith lunged angrily at Baylow, but one of the Scalpel-heads knocked her back.

"Attack!" Baylow ordered. The battle was really on now.

Izzie, whose fighting skills had improved dramatically since she and Meredith's first adventure,, jumped up and kicked one of the Dead Baby Bikers in the face, knocking him out.

"Yeah!" she yelled, pumping her fist in the air. "You can't stop this girl!"

Unfortunately, as soon as she'd said this, she and Meredith found themselves surrounded, and separated from Cristina, at war with her own group of villains a short ways away.

Izzie and Meredith fought furiously, and were doing quite well for themselves, but then Meredith gasped as a Dead Baby Biker broke away from the group and charged towards Lexie, realising she had been left unprotected.

Lexie stood frozen in fear, eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

"Lexie!" Meredith yelled, bringing her back to reality, "Lexie, move!"

Unfortunately, it was a little too late to move. But, the biker in front of her was male. So Lexie did the first thing that came to her head, the only thing she really thought she could do at that point. She hauled off and kicked him square between the legs. He groaned and fell to the ground.

"Whoa" said Cristina, impressed. "Nice kick, Little Grey."

"Thanks" Lexie grinned. Another biker approached behind her, and as she whipped around to meet him, her hair caught him in the eyes, blinding him. "Sorry" she winced.

"Lexie, we do not say 'Sorry' to the people who are trying to kill us!" Meredith cried. "Feel free to beat the crap out of them!"

"Uh.. Okay."

"Unless they're Cristina" Izzie smirked.

"Hey!" Cristina snapped. "I wasn't trying to kill you, I was misinformed about the situation!"

While Lexie was not the most brutal of people, her efforts combined with those of the others gave our heroes the upperhand. Before long, the Scalpel-heads and Dead Baby Bikers fled, leaving Dr. Baylow alone.

"Come back, you cowards!" she shrieked. "Come back!"

Meredith waisted no time, slamming Baylow into a tree while Cristina and Izzie aimed their scalpels at her face.

"What has Rose done with Derek?" Meredith growled.

"And Owen!" added Cristina.

"And Alex, and my kids!" The hand with which Izzie held her scalpel was shaking.

"Your little freaks will get what's coming to them" Baylow said to Izzie, lips twisting in a cruel smile. "You can't stop Rose now. We have won!" She reached for a bottle of potion, like the ones Hahn had used to make, and before anyone could stop her, threw it to the ground where it exploded into a cloud of red smoke. When the smoke cleared, Baylow was gone.

"Looks like Rose has taken over the Family Business" Meredith frowned.

"Yeah, of being a pain in the ass" Cristina grumbled.

"Meredith, we have to get back to Seattle Grace!" cried Izzie in panic.

"How?" said Cristina. "Seattle Grace is an ocean away from here, and we don't have a boat anymore!"

Remembering their earlier fight on the Ferry Boat, Meredith glanced over at Lexie. Despite their victory, at some point the younger Grey had taken a hit that was currently causing a small bruise to form on her cheek. Meredith's stomach twisted uncomfortably at the sight. She still didn't want she and Derek to be Chiefs, but now, having got to know her, Meredith didn't want her little sister to get hurt either, which was very likely to happen if they dragged her any further into this mess.

"Lexie, you'd better see if Amelia can help you get back to Mass-Gen" she sighed. "This is way over your head."

"I have a better idea" Lexie grinned.


	17. The Ol' Switcheroo

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, Or Shrek.

* * *

><p>Following Lexie's lead, the group headed back towards Amelia's practice, where the Neurosurgeon sat cross-legged out the front, apparently meditating.<p>

"Where was _she _when we were under attack?" Cristina grumbled.

"Shh!" Izzie hissed.

"Don't shush me!"

"No, she's right" said Lexie quietly. "No loud noise or sudden movements."

"Yeah" Meredith whispered. "You guys have seen how jumpy she is lately."

"I'm a busy buzzy bee, buzz, buzz, buzz.." said Amelia, apparently in some sort of trance.

They crept closer to Amelia, and then, Lexie slowly reached out a hand and gently tapped her on the shoulder.

"Rarrrrr!" Amelia leapt to her feet, scalpel in hand, and Meredith quickly jerked Lexie out of harm's way. "Oh, it's just you guys." Amelia tucked the scalpel back into her pocket. "So, how'd the 'Journey to your soul' work out?"

"Pretty good actually" Meredith smiled.

"Yeah." Lexie agreed. "So listen, they.." she paused, "Well, we, need you to help us get back to Seattle Grace."

"How?" Amelia asked, sounding slightly nervous.

"Hahn's Potions" Meredith replied. "Did you keep any of the teleportation ones when you helped Addison and the others reclaim Oceanside?"

"Yes.." she shifted uncomfortably.

"Uh, can we have them?"

"I've only got one" said Amelia. "It could probably transport all of you, but that type of thing was never tested, the magic could have side effects. How about a hug instead? A hug is the best kind of magic!"

"So you won't help us?" Meredith frowned.

"I'm sorry. It's too dangerous."

At Amelia's words, Lexie's bottom lip quivered, and then, it seemed, she began to sob.

"I'm sorry!" she wailed, wiping her eyes. "It's just so hard!"

Meredith thought her sister was overreacting a little, before realising that was the point. Lexie was _acting_.

"Oh, come on kid, don't cry.." said Amelia.

"Why not?" Lexie shrieked.

"You're kinda scaring me.."

"Their Hospital and all their friends are in danger" Lexie sniffed. "And if you can't help.."

"I really wish I could" said Amelia. "But.."

"There's this evil Nurse, doing bad things to good people!"

"Good people like Derek" Meredith pointed out.

"Derek?" Amelia's resolve weakened slightly.

"She could kill him if we don't get back in time!" Lexie wailed. "Your brother, my brother in law.. She could kill him before I even get to meet him!"

"She wouldn't.. Would she?"

"Little Shepherd, this is _Nurse Rose _we're talking about" said Cristina. "She's a certifiable nutjob."

"She's probably captured the Oceansiders too" Izzie smirked. "Didn't you once say you love Addison like a sister?"

"Won't it be terrible if they all die because.."

"Okay, I get it!" Amelia screamed, cutting Meredith off. "You can have the damn potion!"

"Thank you" Lexie grinned, tears instantly ceasing.

"You were faking?" Amelia gasped.

"Only the tears" said Lexie. "Everything else is true. Seattle Grace and everybody in it is in danger."

"I know" Amelia sighed. She headed inside, returning a few minutes later with a small red bottle which she handed to Meredith. "Make sure you're all touching when you throw it, or someone could get left behind."

"Got it" replied Meredith with a nod.

"There may be side effects.." Amelia added.

"Side-effects?" Izzie yelped.

"But don't worry, no matter how excrutiatingly painful they maybe, they will most likely wear of eventually.. Probably.. Maybe.. I hope."

"Maybe this isn't such a good idea, Mer" said Izzie, panicking. "I mean, there was a reason Amelia didn't want us to do this."

"We have to, Iz, it's our only way back" Meredith replied. "Everybody ready?"

"Ready" said Lexie, linking arms with her sister.

"Ready" Cristina nodded, laying a hand on Meredith's shoulder.

Izzie took a deep breath, thinking of Alex and the Spawnlings.

"Ready" she said finally, taking Cristina's free hand.

"Do you want to come with us, Amelia?" Meredith asked.

"Nah, I've got a bit more soul searching to do" said Amelia, taking a few steps backwards to avoid the soon-to-be dust cloud. "But if I don't hear from you soon, I'll go get more help, okay?"

"Thanks" Meredith smiled.

"Good luck!"

Meredith threw the potion, and the group disappeared.

But, Amelia's involvement in this adventure wasn't over yet. As the dust cleared, the youngest Shepherd spotted a familiar, soaking wet man stumbling towards her.

"Captain Montgomery?" she gasped.

"Amelia, thank God!" The Captain cried in relief. "I was taking some of Addison's friends to Seattle Grace, but the boat lost control and I fell overboard.."

"They're okay" said Amelia, draping a labcoat around his shoulders. "I'll explain, Sir, just come inside and warm up.."

* * *

><p>"Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" came the screams of Meredith and the others as the fell from the sky, crashing through the trees in the woods outside Seattle.<p>

"Ouch" Lexie groaned as she and Meredith hit the ground.

"My bruises are gonna have bruises.." Meredith grumbled.

"Gee, I haven't had a trip like that in forever" came Izzie's voice from behind them.

Meredith and Lexie turned to check that their friend was okay, and their jaws dropped.

"Uh-oh" said Lexie.

"What?" Izzie frowned, though something felt a little off. She felt her face, which wasn't her own, then caught her reflection in a puddle and screamed. "Ah! I've been turned into a Cardio-obsessed second-rate sidekick!" Somehow, Izzie's conciousness had ended up in Cristina's body. Which meant Cristina was..

"At least you've got good looks and mad surgical skills now!" Cristina grumbled as she fell from a tree, her voice sounding totally wrong coming from Izzie's mouth. "Look at me! I'm a General Surgeon! And I'm _blonde!_ It's horrible!"

Meredith and Lexie glanced at each other, trying to keep straight faces. No Go. The sisters erupted into a fit of riotous laughter.

"You think this is funny?" Izzie cried.

"Well yeah, kinda" said Meredith, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes.

"Thanks Mer, Great friend you are" said Cristina sarcastically.

"Guys, it's not that bad" said Meredith. "Amelia said the side-effects would wear off."

"Yeah, but you left out the 'Eventually.. Probably.. Maybe.. I hope..' Part" Izzie frowned.

"I was trying to be optimistic."

"Sorry, guys" said Lexie sheepishly. "I guess this is kinda my fault, since asking Amelia for help was my idea.."

"Don't be sorry, Lex" said Meredith, laying a hand on her sister's shoulder. "You got us back, and Seattle Grace is going to owe you a lot.." She looked into the distance seeing the Hospital, and most of the City, swarming with Rose's forces. "..If we can save it."


	18. She's A Star!

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, Or Shrek.

* * *

><p>The group slowly crept through the streets of Seattle, dodging Scalpel-heads and Dead Baby Bikers as they went.<p>

"Damn it!" Izzie grumbled, still getting used to Cristina's body. "How am I supposed to walk in these stupid sneakers?"

"Don't bag my sneakers!" Cristina snapped. She scratched Izzie's blonde hair. "Eugh, I think I've got lice."

"Maybe" Izzie smirked. "I did a Peds rotation with Arizona last week."

"Meredith, do you have any idea where Derek or your friends could be?" Lexie asked.

"If past experience is anything to go by, either a tower or a dungeon of some kind" replied Meredith. "If we can find Rose, we'll find the truth.

"I hate this body, it's changing me!" Izzie cried. "I feel all sarcastic and judgemental!"

"I think it's an improvement" said Cristina.

Izzie glared at her.

Meredith spotted a sign pointing towards Seattle Grace, but somebody had scribbled over half of it, so it now read 'This way to Seattle Hate'. She clenched her fists.

"What happened to this place?" said Lexie, looking around in shock. Apart from the villains patrolling, Seattle was virtually a gost town.

"Rose, Lexie" Meredith growled. "Rose is what happened. But don't worry, once we get rid of her and her cronies, you'll get to see Seattle Grace the way it's supposed to be."

"Guys, look!" cried Izzie, pointing.

It took Meredith a moment to recognise him, but there, in the window of some sort of theatre shop, in full clown outfit and make-up, was George.

"George!" cried Meredith, running towards the window.

"Meredith!" George yelled.

"Oh my God, what did they do to you?" cried Izzie.

O'Malley the clown looked very confused.

"Did Izzie's voice just come out of Cristina's.."

"Yeah, long story" Meredith cut him off. "George, what happened? Where is everyone?"

"Rose and the villains have taken over the place" George replied.

"Thank you, Mr. State-the-obvious" Cristina muttered.

"Anyway" George continued, trying to shake the unnerving feeling of seeing who looked like his best friend speaking in another voice, "They crashed the Baby Shower. Derek and Mrs Webber escaped with the Attendings and the Oceansiders at first, but I think she caught them later. The rest of us were captured straight away, I don't know where they are now. But the worst part is that Rose.." Suddenly, a curtain fell shut on him.

"No!" cried Meredith, beating on the window which appeared to be made of reinforced glass. "George! George! Where's Derek now? What's Rose's plan? George!"

"I think we have to pay" said Lexie, gesturing to a coin slot the group hadn't previously noticed.

"Nice spotting, Lex" said Meredith. "Izzie, give me a quarter!"

"You heard her" Izzie smirked, nudging Cristina.

"Right, like you'd be carrying money" Cristina scoffed. She reached into Izzie's/her pocket, pulling out the requested quarter and tossing it to Meredith. "Here, Mer."

"Thanks." She quickly pushed it into the slot.

The curtain opened, and George quickly got back to business.

"Rose has Derek locked up somewhere secret. She probably won't hurt him as long as she can use him to get to you. Meredith, you better find her quickly, she's getting ready for the show.." Before he could elaborate, the curtain shut again.

"Wait, what show? Who has another quarter?"

Everyone dug around in their pockets. No luck.

"Damn it.." Meredith groaned.

"Wait, look!" said Lexie.

George was poking his hand out under the curtain, pointing at a poster next to the theatre window.

The group rushed over to look at it. The poster showed Rose, scalpel raised triumphantly as she stood over Meredith's apparently dead body.

" 'It's A Happily Ever After After All'?" Lexie read the title, confused.

"'Meredith's final performance'" Cristina read on, frowning.

"Wow, Mer!" Izzie grinned. "Why didn't you tell us you were gonna be in a play?"

"Gee, I don't know" Meredith deadpanned. "I guess I was so busy I just forgot all about it."

"Okay.. Can I get free tickets?"

"Izzie, you moron, it's fake!" Cristina snapped. "Rose is going to try and kill Meredith onstage, and nobody will do anything about it 'cause they'll think it's just part of the show!"

"Oh.."

"It's the Dark and twisty one!"

The group turned to see that a group of Dead Baby Bikers had spotted them.

"Uh-oh" said Lexie.

"Not to worry, Little Grey" Cristina smirked, stepping forward. "I'll handle this." As the guards approached, she pulled her classic sad face. Now, Izzie was not an unattractive woman, and you could very well find yourself crushed by an Evil Spawn's fist for saying other wise. But, she and Cristina had very different facial structures. So, what was cute and sad on Cristina's face was horrendously ugly on Izzie's, therefore Cristina's plan went horribly wrong, and ended with she and the others surrounded, various weapons pointing at them.

"You call that handling it?" Izzie frowned.

"You lot are coming with us!" ordered Viper, the leader of the bikers, as he waved a broken bottle at Meredith.

Lexie glanced at the poster on the wall, getting an idea.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," she said, stepping between Viper and her sister.

"Lexie, what are you doing?" Meredith hissed.

"Just go with it" Lexie whispered, turning back to Viper. "Do you have any idea who you're talking to?"

"Uh.." Viper looked very confused.

"She is a Star!" said Lexie indignantly.

Meredith finally caught on.

"Honestly, guys" she said to Cristina and Izzie, "We're working with amateurs."

"Nurse Rose wouldn't be happy if you hurt her star performer, would she?" said Lexie to Viper, hands on her hips.

"Well.."

"I am _so _Sorry about this, Mrs. Grey."

"You're lucky, I almost lost it" said Meredith, only just managing to keep a straight face.

"I assume you've got everything ready for tonight?" Lexie asked Viper.

"Uh.."

"The muffins? Pound cake? Juju?" she continued desperately.

"And the tequila!" added Izzie. "Our client cannot get into her proper emotional state without her tequila!"

"Your expression seems to say no" Lexie frowned.

"Oh, I just lost it!" Meredith mock-growled.

"No need for that" said Viper quickly, panicking. "Uh, just talk to Shonda in human resources."

"Yes, we will have lots to say to Shonda, I assure you!" said Cristina as the group marched off, leaving some very confused Dead Baby Bikers behind them.

Meredith grinned, giving Lexie a high-five once they were out of danger. She was beginning to like having a sister. Too bad things couldn't stay this perfect forever..


	19. Truth Hurts

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, Or Shrek.

AN: Oh, I both love and hate this part in the movie. I love it because Shrek proves that he really does care for Artie once and for all, but I hate that he has to hurt him so badly to do it.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, back at the now complete stage that Derek and the others had seen being built, rehearsals for the 'Play' were in full swing.<p>

A group of Scalpel-heads were practicing a musical number behind Rose, who was trying to learn her lines.

"With this scalpel, I do smite thee!" Rose aimed the scalpel at Sadie, who was acting as a stand in for Meredith. She paused, thinking. "Is 'smite' even the right word?"

"I don't know" Sadie shrugged.

"Maybe 'eliminate' would be better, don't you think?"

"If you think so." Truth be told, Sadie was starting to become uncomfortable with this whole thing. Sure, she'd been pissed at Meredith for blowing her off, but she didn't really want her _dead_. She couldn't say anything now, though, or she'd just get herself locked up with those bright and shiny people.

"I'm gonna go with eliminate" said Rose, before consulting her script. "Okay, let's try this again. Meredith tries to attack me.. Try to attack me!"

Sadie made a feeble attempt at doing so.

"I pretend to be scared" Rose continued. "Ooh, then I say 'At last this hospital will get the Happily ever after it deserves! Die dark and twisty woman, die, die, die!" Rose waved the scalpel around madly, not noticing as she cut Sadie's arm.

"Ouch!"

"Eugh, it doesn't feel real enough yet!" she angrily tossed the scalpel to the ground. The Scalpel-heads froze. "Did I tell you to stop dancing?" They quickly continued their dance.

Rose groaned, heading off to her now lavish dressing room, while Fife, one of the kinder members of the villain squad, wheeled over to help Sadie tend to her bleeding arm.

* * *

><p>Rose marched into her dressing room, flopping into a chair in front of her dressing table. After taking a moment to calm herself, she glanced at the familiar photo of Hahn on the mirror.<p>

"Our Happily Ever After is almost complete, Cousin Erica, and when it is, everyone in this hospital will pay dearly for every second we had to wait! All I need is a little confidence."

"I'll give you some confidence."

Rose spotted the reflection of Meredith and her friends in the mirror, and quickly spun around.

"Break a leg, Rose" said Meredith coldly. "Better yet, how about I break one for you?"

"Oh Meredith, thank goodness you're here" said Rose slyly, sneakily reaching to push a button under her dressing table. "For a second there, I was worried you weren't going to make it in time."

"Forget the small talk, Rose" Meredith growled, marching over and slamming her against the wall. "Where are Derek and the others?"

"They're safe.. For now."

Meredith tightened her grip on Rose, scowling, before a group of Scalpel-heads burst in, grabbing hold of Izzie, Cristina, and Lexie.

"Well" Rose smirked, "Unless you want your friends to meet a very sticky end, I suggest you let me go."

Meredith reluctantly did so, but not without giving her nemesis one last shove against the wall. The Scalpel-heads quickly grabbed her.

"You won't get away with this" Meredith growled. "I'll stop you, just like last time!"

"Ooh, I'm soo scared!" Rose mocked. She looked over the group, eyes quickly falling on Lexie. "And who might you be?"

"I am Doctor Lexie Grey, the Interim Chief of Seattle Grace!" said Lexie proudly.

Meredith groaned inwardly. This was _not _the time for Lexie to be brave.

"I thought so" Rose smirked. "You are also a relative of Meredith's, I hear.."

"Her sister" Lexie confirmed.

Meredith was mentally screaming at her to shut the hell up.

"Of course" said Rose with an evil grin. "Although to be perfectly honest, Leslie, I don't see a Chief in you.."

"Her name is Lexie!" yelled Izzie angrily, "And she's gonna be the best Chief of Surgery that.." The Scalpel-head holding Izzie slapped a hand over her mouth, though her muffled voice could still be heard.

"..Or any family resemblance" Rose continued, ignoring Izzie's outburst as she glanced between Meredith and Lexie. "A shame, really. If you hadn't said anything, I would never have known the truth, and you may have been allowed to live. Oh well, can't be helped.." she made a gesture with her hand.

"Ah!" Lexie cried out as her captor jerked her head back, giving Rose a clear shot at her throat.

"Now hold still" The evil nurse raised her scalpel. "I don't want to make a mess.."

Lexie gulped.

"No!" yelled Meredith. Her heart ached horribly at the things she was about to say, but it was the only way to save her sister. "This isn't about her, it never was! She.." Meredith felt sick, "She's nothing!"

"What?" Lexie frowned, feeling the Scalpel-Head's grip on her slacken. "Then who is it about? I'm supposed to be Chief.. Right?"

"No. Derek and I were."

"But.." Lexie didn't understand any of this. "You said Dr. Webber asked for me personally!"

"Not exactly" said Meredith, trying to sound as though she couldn't care less, when really, she was torn up inside.

"What do you mean?"

"I said what I had to say, alright?" Meredith growled. "I didn't want the job, I needed some brat to replace me and with your photographic memory, you fit the bill! But your fun is over now, so get lost!"

"You.. You were playing me the whole time" said Lexie, trying to hold back the tears forming in her eyes. "And you two.." she turned accusingly to Izzie and Cristina, "You knew all about it!"

"Gee, you catch on fast" said Meredith in mock-cruelty. "Maybe you aren't such a loser after all."

Lexie stared at her sister, hurt and betrayal shining in her eyes.

"Meredith" she said sadly, "For a moment I thought you actually.."

"What?" Rose scoffed. "That she actually _cared _about you? Come on, she's Dark and Twisty, she doesn't care about anyone!" She signalled the Scalpel-Head to release Lexie, knowing she was no longer a threat to her plans.

Lexie took one last look at Meredith and the others, then stomped out of the room, tears streaming from her eyes.

Meredith wanted to call out to her sister, to apologise, but she held her tongue, finding small comfort in the fact that, in the end, she had done what was best for Lexie, even if it meant losing her forever.

"Well, you really do have a way with Interns, Meredith" said Rose cruelly. She turned to the Scalpel-Heads. "Lock her up! But keep her friends separate this time, they've escaped me once before.."


	20. The Great Escape

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, Or Shrek.

* * *

><p>Now, chained up alone in an empty room, Meredith was furious with herself. What had she been thinking, storming in on Rose like that without any real plan? Now, she may never see Derek again. She may never see her friends again. Poor little Zola would have to find a new pair of adoptive parents, as her current ones would most likely be dead by Morning. And to top it all off, Meredith's stupidity had cost her her relationship with Lexie. Even if she did somehow survive this, her sister would probably never want to speak to her again.<p>

Meredith gazed out the window and sighed, once again thinking that everyone would have been better off if they'd never known her.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, still trapped in the Basement, Derek sighed himself. They had been down here for nearly two days now, and some members of the group were beginning to get on each other's nerves.<p>

"Maybe we would have been better off if we'd just barricaded the door and stayed in the conference room.." Pete sigheded.

"That is the worst idea I've heard in, well, ever" Mark frowned.

"Well I don't see you thinking of any better ideas!" Pete growled.

"Okay, fellas" Sheldon stood, trying to diffuse the situation. "Maybe we should all just.."

"Shut up, Sheldon!" They yelled in unison.

Sheldon sat down.

Upset by all the commotion, Baby Sofia burst into tears.

"Nice one, guys" Callie grumbled as she tried to soothe her wailing daughter.

"I think it might be time to cut our losses here" said Addison. "Who really cares that much about Seattle Grace anyway?"

"I care, Addison" said Derek, looking up. "I might not want to be Chief anymore, but I don't want this Hospital to suffer under Rose and Marlowe either."

"You should care too" said Adele. "If.."

The Chief's wife was cut off when the basement doors swung open, and two familiar figures were tossed inside.

"Hey, no one manhandles me like that and gets away with it!" yelled Izzie, shaking her fist as the door slammed behind her. "When I get out of here, you'll be sorry!"

"Yeah!" Cristina agreed. "It's gonna be a bad day for you!"

Derek and the others stared at their body-swapped friends in shock.

"Izzie?" Derek frowned.

"Cristina?" Owen gasped.

"Yeah, I've been turned into a dumb blonde" Cristina grumbled.

Izzie glared at her.

"How did this happen?" asked Derek.

"Well" said Izzie, "Long story short, we went to Mass-Gen, picked up Lexie, crashed our Ferry Boat, and got Abracadabra-d by your crazy sister!"

"I don't get it" said Cooper, confused.

"It's easy, Dad" said Mason. "They switched bodies."

"So Yang is Stevens, and Stevens is Yang" Mark finished.

"It's still confusing.." Cooper muttered.

"Where's Meredith?" asked Derek, trying not to assume the worst.

"Rose has her" Cristina frowned. "She's going to kill her onstage and make it look like part of the play."

"What about her sister?" asked Mark, feeling uncharacteristically concerned for the poor young Intern who had been caught up in all of this.

"Don't worry about Lexie" said Izzie sadly. "She got away."

Derek took a few moments to absorb this information, then clenched his fists, determined. Meredith had saved him on multiple occasions. Now, it was his turn to save her.

"Guys, it's time we got out of here."

"You're right" Addison agreed. "Everyone, assume the position!"

She and the other Oceansiders, even the men, arranged themselves into various 'damsel in distress' like poses.

"Okay" Teddy raised an eyebrow, "What the hell are you guys doing?"

"Waiting for somebody to come rescue us" said Naomi.

"That's not helping us get out of here" Callie frowned.

"Hey, normally I'm the last person who'd suggest we sit around and do nothin'" said Charlotte, "But we've got a baby, a toddler, and an eight-year old to worry about."

"We really should just wait for someone" said Violet, bouncing Lucas on her knee.

"Then you'll be waiting a long time" said Owen, crossing his arms.

"Don't you guys understand?" said Derek. "_No-one _is coming for us, not this time. Meredith, Alex, the bright and shinies.. They've all been captured."

At the latter two, Callie and Izzie felt an unpleasant swirling in their stomachs, Callie draping an arm around the General Surgeon's shoulders as they shared a rare moment of understanding.

"Our prison is the least secure" Derek continued. "We are the best hope for everyone."

"There's enough of us that we should be able to keep the kids away from the worst of it" said Mark.

"Okay" said Sam, nobody noticing as Adele headed for the door, "But that doesn't explain _how_ we are going to get out of here."

"Uh.."

Suddenly, the group heard an almighty yell, before Adele headbutted the door, and it swung open.

"That way" Mark grinnned.

"Adele.." said Derek in awe.

"What?" Adele smirked. "You didn't think Richard was the only thick-headed Webber, did you?"

"Alright!" Izzie gave a whoop, leading the charge to freedom. "Way to go Mrs. Webber!" She rushed up the stairs. "Uh, there's another door here."

Adele stepped forward again, but before she could work her magic, it flew open, revealing a familiar Midwifery student using a gurney as a battering ram.

"Dell!" cried Addison in surprise. "How did you escape?"

"I hid in one of the gift boxes" he explained.

"Why didn't we think of that?" Mark groaned, as they all filed out to begin their rescue mission.


	21. Head Or Heart?

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, Or Shrek.

AN: This chap has a reference to the musical episode. Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Now free, Derek and his Party guests prepared for the battle ahead.<p>

Callie ripped the sleeves from her shirt, flexing her bone-breaking Ortho muscles.

Owen smeared camouflage over his face.

Teddy put on her favourite bird-patterned scrub cap.

Mark did some stretches.

Pete sharpened his acupuncture needles.

Sheldon tied his tie around his head and growled.

"Everybody ready then?" said Derek. "Let's go."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile back at the stage, it was almost showtime. Stark was handing out playbills to the arriving audience, employees or patients at Seattle Grace who were either unaware of or too scared to ge4t involved the very real battle of Good vs Evil that was currently taking place.<p>

"Citizens, please enjoy your night of theatrical reverie" said Stark as the seats began to fill. "We ask that you switch off your mobile phone before the show begins, and please, no photographic evidence.. I mean flash photography."

On stage, Viper was tying Meredith to a post.

"Ouch!" she yelped, as he pulled the rope a little too tight. "Do you mind?"

"Sorry" said Viper, "I'm just showing off for the little one."

"Huh?" said Meredith, confused.

"It's 'Bring Your Kid To Work Day'" Viper explained, stepping aside to reveal a dark haired little girl covered in temporary tattoos.

"Uh.. She has your eyes" Meredith chuckled.

"Yeah" Viper grinned, sweeping the little girl into his arms. "Who ever thought a guy like me would be lucky enough to have something as special as you?"

Meredith couldn't help but smile at the pair, but this soon faded. She would never have a child. Not now.

* * *

><p>Derek and the others had now reached the Hospital gardens, and were currently hiding behind a large tree. Just ahead of them, a group of Scalpel-heads were patrolling. Derek gestured to Callie, who nodded, and handed Sofia over to Mark.<p>

Then, she walked out into the open, and, to the confusion of the villains who rushed to apprehend her, began to sing.

_"All of these lines across my face, tell you the story of who I am. So many stories of where I've been, and how I got to where I am.."_

Elsewhere in the Hospital, the ears of Doctors, Nurses, and other Hospital staff not currently attending the 'Play' pricked up. Was that Callie Torres?

_"But these stories don't mean anything, if you've got no-one to tell them to. It's true, I was made for you."_

Deciding that it was her, they all began rushing towards the sound of her voice, eager to help. Everybody liked Callie.

_"I climbed across the mountain tops, travelled across the ocean blue, I cross over lines and I broke all the rules, but baby I broke them all for you.."_

The Scalpel-heads recovered from their surprise and continued to advance on Callie. She, slightly nervously continued to sing. This had to work. Their whole plan was riding on it.

_"'Cause even when I was flat broke, you made me feel like a million bucks.."_

One Scalpel-head was about to seize Callie, until Bailey's Anaesthesiologist boyfriend, Ben, leading the charge of the mini-army of Hospital staff, punched it in the nose, while the other Doctors and Nurses took care of the others.

_"You do, I was made for you!"_

"The cavalry's here guys" Derek grinned, rushing out to join the fray. "Let's go!" With their growing numbers, he was beginning to think that the good guys might just have a chance.

* * *

><p>While Derek's crew weakened the Hospital's defenses, Izzie and Cristina had taken on the task of finding and rescuing the bright and shinys. First stop was the Zoo, where Rose had imprisoned Alex and the Spawnlings.<p>

"Alex!" cried Izzie joyfully as she rushed toward their cage, where the Spawnlings sobbed against Alex's chest. "Alex, you're okay!"

"Izzie?" Alex set his children down, very confused. "Why are you.."

"We accidently switched bodies with an old magic potion" Cristina explained, pulling out her scalpel to pick the lock. "Now hang on, I'll have you all out of there soon.." After a few minutes of fiddling, the cage swung open.

"Okay babies, come to Mommy!" cried Izzie, arms held wide.

"Mommy!" The Spawnlings flew out.. And dog-piled on Cristina, who in their eyes, appeared to be their Mother.

"Get off me!" Cristina growled. "Get off, off!"

"Hey kids, I'm over here!" Izzie pouted.

"Get off!"

"You've got quite a way with kids, Yang" Alex smirked.

* * *

><p>Next, they returned to George, busting him out of the Theatre.<p>

* * *

><p>A few doors away, they located Arizona, tied up with skipping ropes in a toy store. Izzie cut her loose.<p>

* * *

><p>They busted the Mercy Westers out of a Butcher's freezer.<p>

* * *

><p>Bailey and the Interns had been imprisoned in a Dog Pound. Alex ripped the doors off the cages they had been locked in.<p>

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Derek's group had fought their way inside Seattle Grace.<p>

As one of the Dead Baby Bikers patrolled a hallway, he spotted a woman's leg poking out from around a corner, wiggling seductively, as though it was calling to him. He grinned lustily, ran towards it... and got punched out by Charlotte.

"Another one down, let's go!"

* * *

><p>"Okay, the coast is clear" said Izzie, as she, Cristina, and the bright and shinies as they made their way back to Seattle Grace. "Let's do this people! Go Team Mega Muffins!"<p>

"Mega Muffins?" Cristina frowned. "I didn't agree on that."

"I thought we were gonna be 'Team 007'" George complained.

"I voted for 'Team Awesome'" Arizona pouted.

"I could have sworn we agreed on 'Team Alpha Bailey Squadron'" said Bailey, crossing her arms.

"Okay" Izzie sighed. "From now on, we'll be known as 'Team Mega Muffin 007 Awesome Alpha Bailey Squadron'."

"Cool" said Jackson.

"Hey, what's that Intern doing over there?" said April, gesturing to a familiar, to Izzie and Cristina at least, depressed looking girl walking down the street across from them. "Doesn't she know it's dangerous to be wandering around right now?"

"Lexie!" cried Izzie, as she and Cristina rushed rushed over to her.

Lexie looked up for a second, then quickly turned away, scowling.

"Oh come on Lexie, wait up!"

"I don't want to talk to you two!" Lexie growled, spinning around to face them. "You knew what was going on, and neither of you said anything!"

"Lexie" Izzie sighed, "I know that everything back there seemed bad, but you don't understand.."

"Oh, I think I understand perfectly!" Lexie yelled. "Meredith was just using me the whole time, she never cared about me at all!" She turned to walk away from them once again.

"Hey!" Cristina snapped, defending her friend.

"Look, maybe she was at first, but that changed" Izzie continued. "Lexie, Meredith said all those things to protect you."

"What?" Lexie looked back at them, confused.

"In case you hadn't noticed, Rose was going to kill you. Meredith saved your life, because, for some crazy reason, I think she loves you. And now, if we don't do something, she's going to die because of it."

Lexie was torn, not sure what to believe. Her heart, which was telling her to save Meredith, or her head, which was telling her to run and never look back.


	22. The Final Curtain

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, Or Shrek.

* * *

><p>Back at the stage, the play was beginning. Marlowe stood in the window of a wooden cut-out tower, apparently awaiting 'rescue'.<p>

_"I wait alone up here, trapped another day!" _he sang. _"Locked up here, please set me free. My new life I almost see. A Hospital, you and me. Yes a Hospital, You and me."_

A few members of the audience shared strange looks. What the hell was this crap?

From the rafters, Stark lowered down a few Dead Baby Bikers, dressed as Cherubs, on ropes. Then, a huge clam shell rose up from the bottom of the stage, opening to reveal Rose on a wooden horse.

_"Tis I, 'Tis I, upon my royal steed you see!" _she sang. _"Colin, my love, at last you shall be freed!"_

Stark dropped some petals onto Rose, who 'rode' out of the clam shell.

_"I'm strong, and brave, and dashing my way there! With speed, with might, with soft and bouncy hair!"_

"Oh brother.." Meredith rolled her eyes, hearing everything from her place backstage.

_"Through the blistering Desert!" _Rose chopped down a cardboard cactus.

"Hot!" said a group of Scalpel-heads dancing behind her.

_"Across the stormiest sea!"_

Fife wheeled by with a bunch of streamers, meant to represent the 'sea' attatched to the back of his chair.

"Wet!" said the Scalpel-heads.

_"Facing creatures so vile!"_

"Foul!"

_"So you can gaze upon me!" _Rose grinned, finally reaching the 'Tower'.

_"I knew you'd come for me, and now we finally meet"_ Marlowe sang.

_"I knew you'd wait, and from my plate of love you'd eat!"_

"Oh boy" Meredith rolled her eyes. Gary Clark fired a bullet into the air for a sound effect while Sadie rolled Meredith onto the stage. "Sadie?" Meredith gasped.

Sadie gazed downwards, unable to meet her former friend's eyes.

As Meredith appeared onstage, a group of Nurses stood and cheered for her, but were quickly dragged away by Security Guards.

_"Who is this terrible ugly fiend, who so rudely intervened?" _sang Rose.

_"Will Nurse Rose fight or will she flee?" _sang Stark, Baylow, and Gary Clark as they danced onto the stage.

_"Oh Please, Rescue me!" _Marlowe pleaded.

_"From this monstrosity!" _sang the Villains.

_"Fear thee not, Honey lamb" _Rose aimed her scalpel at Meredith's chest. _"I will slice this thing up like a ham!"_

"Oh geez.." Meredith groaned.

_"You are about to enter a world of pain with which you are not familiiaaarrrrrrrrrrrrr!"_

Rose's high note broke a few windows.

"Well, it couldn't be any more painful than your lousy performance" Meredith smirked. "If that scalpel doesn't kill me, your singing will."

The Audience laughed.

Rose flushed with anger, quickly turning to embarassment when she forgot her next line.

"'Prepare foul beast'.." Stark whispered.

"Right" Rose nodded. _"Prepare foul beast, your time is done!"_

"Ouch, my ears! Could you kill me before you have to sing again?"

Another chorus of laughter erupted from the crowd.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Rose shrieked, getting right up in Meredith's face.

"Eugh, don't come any closer" Meredith's nose wrinkled in disgust. "Your breath stinks!"

The audience were in hysterics.

"Stop!" Rose yelled. "Stop laughing!"

"Oh relax, we're just having a little fun with you" Meredith grinned. "Hey, I like your scrubs."

"Really?" asked Rose, suspicious.

"Yeah. Do they come in adult sizes?"

From backstage, Fife and Sadie laughed along with the audience.

"ENOUGH!" Rose roared, silencing the crowd. She pulled out her scalpel, turning back towards Meredith. "Now you will know what it's like to have everything you've worked for, everything that's precious to you, taken away! Now you will know how I felt!"

Meredith closed her eyes, waiting for the end..

"Hey Rose, heads up!" suddenly, a jet of fire shot across the stage, knocking the scalpel from Rose's hand, as Alex appeared with Izzie and Cristina on his shoulders, and the Spawnlings fluttering behind him.

The Mercy Westers ninja-rolled onto the stage, placing themselves between Rose and Meredith.

Arizona zipped in on her Heelys.

Bailey, who had dressed herself as a tree and hidden against the backdrop, threw off her disguise, joining the others.

George leapt down from the rafters, grabbing Marlowe's hair, which was really just a toupee', as he went.

Rose's now bald accomplice screamed like a girl and ran away.

"Well that was weird" said Arizona, raising an eyebrow.

"It's time we take our Hospital back!" yelled Izzie, jumping down from Alex's shoulder.

"Yeah!" Added Cristina, leaping down behind her. "Pray for mercy from Cristina.."

"And Izzie!" said Izzie, using Cristina's scalpel to cut her initials into the front of George's scrubs.

"Hey!" he frowned, annoyed.

Before Rose could react to what was happening, Derek, Adele, the attending's and the Oceansiders came tearing through the backdrop. They had left Sofia, Lucas, and Mason under Dell's watchful eye.

"Hi, Honey!" Derek grinned, waving to Meredith. "Sorry we're late. Are you okay?"

"Better, now that you're here" Meredith smiled.

The audience cheered. Maybe this play wouldn't be so bad after all.

"Well Rose, it looks like you've lost" said Meredith. "Now how about you untie me so we can settle this woman to woman?"

"Sounds like fun" Rose mused, "But I have a better idea." She snapped her fingers, and the villains charged, lassoing Alex and the Spawnlings, and surrounding our heroes.

"Let go of me!" Derek growled, struggling to free himself from Gary Clark's grip.

"Derek!" cried Meredith.

"Kill them all!" Rose ordered, before turning back to Meredith, grinning evilly. "I'll take care of you."

"Hey you!"

"What.. Ahh!" Rose turned to the source of the interruption, staggering backwards as she recieved a dazzlingly bright spotlight in the eyes for her trouble.

Lexie came swinging, Tarzan-like, onto the stage on one of the light cords.

"Keep your dirty hands off my sister!"

"Lexie?" Meredith gasped. _'Crap. She's supposed to be far, far away from here by now.'_

"Oh great" Rose groaned when her vision cleared. "You again."

"Yes, me" said Lexie, determined.

In that moment, Meredith finally noticed one of the similarities between them. She and Lexie shared a burning desire to protect those they loved, no matter the cost.

"Look" Lexie turned to address the Villains. "Before you do this, let me ask you.. Who really thinks this is the best way to settle things?"

All the Villains raised their hands.

"Really? Are you really happy like this? You want to be bad guys forever?"

"But.." said Gary Clark, sounding confused, "We _are _bad guys."

"It's kinda the only thing we know" said Fife with a shrug.

"Oh, come on!" Lexie cried. "Don't you ever wish that you could be something else?"

"That's easy for you to say" one of the Scalpel-heads frowned, gesturing to her mutated cranium. "You don't have this to worry about all the time!"

"Okay, my head isn't a giant scalpel" Lexie admitted. "But, a very smart friend of mine once told me that just because people treaty you like a villain, or a freak, or dark and twisty" she flashed a small smile in Meredith's direction, "Or a loser, doesn't mean you are one. All that really matters is hat you think of yourself. If there's something you really want, or someone you really want to be, there's only one person getting in your way.. And that's you." she pointed at the villains.

"Me?" Stark, who happened to be standing at the front of the group, frowned.

"Get him!" yelled Baylow, the villains dogpiling on Stark.

"No, no, no!" Lexie cried. "Not him, _you_, yourselves."

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh" the Villains chorused, climbing off the battered Stark.

"You will all pay for this in 'Meredith Forever After'!" he groaned, before falling unconscious.

"You know, this girl is right" said Gary Clark, ignoring his fallen former comrade. "I never really wanted to kill anyone."

"I want to open a Health Spa in France!" said Baylow dreamily.

"I want to cure all known diseases" said Fife.

"I grow flowers" said Viper, a bouquet of daisies looking extremely out of place in his heavily tattooed arms. "Aren't they beautiful?"

After a few moments of silence, the villains threw down their weapons, and released the heroes.

"Meredith, I'm sorry I joined forces with the girl who ws trying to kill you" said Sadie.

"I'm sorry too, 'Die" Meredith smiled. "I shouldn't have blown you off like that. And Rose" she turned to her rival, "I'm sorry about what happened to your cousin, but really, it was her own fault. Can't you just let it go?"

"I will _never _let it go!" Rose shrieked, grabbing the Chief's nametag, that she was supposed to pin on Marlowe at the end of the play, from it's pedestal onstage and pinning it to her own chest. "This hospital will be mine!" she drew her scalpel and charged at Lexie, who quickly dodged the blow, moving behind the evil Nurse.

"Missed me!" Lexie teased.

Rose growled and charged again, but Lexie dodged this one too, leaping front of Meredith.

The next strike nearly hit Naomi, until Fife jerked her out of the way and caused her to fall into his lap, blushing.

Rose made yet another attack, but Lexie ducked, causing her to cut Meredith's ropes.

"Nice move, Lex" Meredith grinned, using the rope to wrap like a whip around Rose's ankles and pulling her in. "Got you now, Rose!"

"No" Rose growled evilly, apparently plunging the scalpel into Meredith's side. "I've got you!" She laughed victoriously as Meredith gasped and stumbled backwards.

"No!" Derek yelled, his heart dropping into his stomach.

"Meredith!" Lexie cried, catching her sister as she fell.

"Yes!" Rose grinned, pumping her fist in the air. "I win, I win, ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Meredith" Lexxie sobbed, "I'm sorry, I should have realised you were only trying to protect me, and you're a great sister and.."

"Lexie, shh" Meredith looked up, winking at her sister. She was okay!

Rose didn't notice, too busy revelling in her 'victory'.

"A new era will begin at last!" she declared to the now frightened audience, who ha finally worked out this wasn't just a play. "All of you will bow before me!"

"I don't think so" said Meredith, rising up behind her.

"But.. no, that's impossible!" Rose gasped. "I _stabbed _you!"

Meredith lifted her arm, and the scalpel clattered to the ground.

"Yeah, you've really got to work on your aim" Meredith smirked. "And apparently, go back to Med School. Even if you _had_ actually stabbed me, in that spot, you wouldn't have done any real damage."

"But.. but you fell!" Rose sputtered.

"Just messing with you."

"No!" Rose screeched. "This was supposed to be _my _Happily Ever After!" She charged at Meredith, who grabbed her by the collar and lifted her slightly off the ground, proving what a weakling Rose really was because despite her status as the hero of the story, Meredith was actually quite small.

"Funny thing about Happily Ever Afters" said Meredith, "You can keep looking for yours all you want, but there's no way I'm giving up mine." She tossed the Nurse to the ground. "You lose, Rose."

"That's what you think!" Rose yelled, getting to her feet and charging once again, scalpel drawn.

Meredith rolled her eyes, catching the scalpel Izzie tossed to her. Rose approached, the scalpels collided, and Rose's snapped clean in two.

"Oh, come on!" Rose groaned.

"You sure you don't want to give up?" asked Meredith, raising an eyebrow. "'Cause this is getting embarrassing."

"Never!" Rose growled.

"Fine, have it your way" Meredith sighed. She didn't want to be this brutal, but Rose with her evil schemes was too dangerous to let hang around.

"Looks like you're getting a 'Happily Never After'!" Izzie grinned. "Hit it, baby!"

"You got it!" Alex yelled.

Meredith shoved Rose into position under the tower, which the evil spawn knocked down with his tail.

"Erica.." Rose whimpered, seconds before it flattened her.

_"Ding dong, the bitch is dead.." _sang Izzie cheerily.

As the dust cleared, the Chief's name-tag came bouncing out, landing at Lexie's feet. She picked it up, gazing at it uncertainly.

"Lexie!"

Meredith's voice broke her out of her thoughts, as she looked up to see her sister leading a scruffy-haired, blood-shot eyed, but still remarkably handsome man towards her.

"Lexie, this is my Husband, Derek" Meredith introduced him with a smile. "Derek, this is Lexie, my little sister."

"It's nice to finally meet you, Lexie" Derek smiled.

"Likewise" Lexie smiled back.

"And this is, uh, everybody else."

"Hi, Lexie" everyone chorused.

"Hey" Mark winked, imitating Joey from 'Friends' as he walked over and shook a blushing Lexie's hand. "How you doin'?"

"Don't even think about it" Derek warned, pulling him away.

"But.."

"_No._"

"Aww.."

Meredith nodded at the name-tag in her sister's hand.

"That can still be yours you know, if you want it" she said. "What you did up there, talking the villains around, you proved that you could be a great leader. But it's your choice. I'll support you, whatever you decide."

Lexie glanced at the name-tag once again, then walked to the front of the stage, and held it out in front of her, silently asking the audience's opinion.

The crowd roared their approval, so she pinned it to the front of her lab coat, grinning.

Meredith smiled proudly as A few of the reformed villains, minus Stark who had slinked off at some point, lifted Lexie onto their shoulders, carrying her into the adoring crowd. Her smile widened as Dell arrived with the kids, and all the families were reunited. Arizona showered Sofia with kisses, Pete swept Lucas into his arms as Violet tickled him, and Cooper and Charlotte hugged Mason tightly.

"Derek, I've been thinking.."

"Yes?"

"Maybe we should stay here" Meredith replied. "Like, not in the Hospital here, but somewhere nearby. Lexie might still need us, and.. our whole family is here. We could build a house somewhere, with a room for Zola to play in, and one for Cristina, and a fire-proof room for when Izzie brings the Spawnlings over.."

Derek cut her off, pulling her in for a kiss.

"That is a great idea."

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Amelia came bolting into the courtyard, scalpel drawn, with The Captain, and Jake Reilly, a fertility specialist she had called on for back-up, close behind her.

"We're here to rescue you!" she cried, before looking around at the cheering crowds. "But apparently you don't need rescuing. Bye!"

"Hold it!"

Amelia's escape was cut off by a very annoyed, and still body-swapped, Izzie and Cristina.

"So, you found out about the side-effects then" Amelia chuckled sheepishly.

"Yes!" Cristina snapped.

"You have to find a way to change us back right now!" Izzie cried. "My kids don't recognise me!"

"Okay, don't worry guys, I found another potion in case this happened" said Amelia. She pulled it out from her pocket and threw it at them.

The cloud of green smoke cleared, revealing Izzie and Cristina to have transformed into a Donkey and a little Ginger Cat.

"Oops, wrong one" Amelia winced. "I was gonna do a magic show for the peds kids."

Cristina hissed at her.

"Okay, okay, hold your horses!" Amelia pulled out another potion, and threw it.

The smoke cleared. Izzie and Cristina looked at each other. They grinned.

"I'm me again!" Izzie cried.

"So am I!" yelled Cristina.

They happily rushed off to join the celebration, not noticing the new misfortune that had befallen them.

"Uh oh" said Amelia, as she gazed at their retreating forms. This time, their butts had been switched.

"Should we.." Jake began.

"Nah" Amelia waved dismissively. "It'll wear off eventually.. Probably.. Maybe.. I hope.."


	23. Happily Ever After, Again

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, Or Shrek.

AN: Last Chapter. Enjoy! Oh, and even though Artie wasn't seen or even mentioned in 'Shrek Forever After', I'm going to keep Lexie as an extra sidekick alongside Izzie and Cristina since she now lives with MerDer in my version.

* * *

><p>A few months went by. Meredith and Derek built a big, beautiful house in a clearing not far away from Seattle Grace, so they could be around to support Lexie, who moved in with them. Izzie, Cristina, and all of their other friends also took up residence nearby, most of them gaining permanent positions at the Hospital.<p>

The Oceansiders started up a new Practice, adding Amelia and Jake to the team along the way. At some point, they lost Naomi, who eloped to New York with Fife. In another piece of happy news, Addison adopted a baby boy, Henry.

There was an unfortunate incident involving Derek punching Mark after his friend had ignored his warning and started dating Lexie. He needn't have really worried though. Mark treated Lexie well, and they were happy.

Dr. Webber eventually returned, sober and ready to resume his job. However, recognising Lexie's potential to one day become a Chief for real, he allowed her to stay on as a member of Seattle Grace's surgical program.

But for Meredith and Derek, the biggest change was yet to come..

* * *

><p>Early one morning, in her new house, Meredith heated a bottle of baby formula, testing it on her wrist to ensure it wasn't too hot. Satisfied, she headed into the lounge room, where Derek sat bouncing their adopted daughter, Zola, on his lap, while Lexie knelt on the floor, making faces at the little girl.<p>

Meredith smiled at them, giving Derek a quick 'Good Morning' kiss, before taking Zola and offering her the bottle.

A few minutes later, Cristina and Izzie burst through the front door, the Spawnlings fluttering behind them.

"I smell baby poop!" Izzie grinned.

* * *

><p>Derek chased a butt-naked Zola, who had turned out to be a very energetic child, around the house, trying to put her diaper on. The little girl bounced off the couch, landing perfectly in a diaper Meredith held up.<p>

Meredith and Derek grinned at each other. They were a great team.

* * *

><p>Later, as Meredith bathed Zola, the baby farted in the tub, sending a jet of bubbles up to the surface. Meredith shrugged, and chuckled.<p>

"Better out than in!"

* * *

><p>Izzie played a game of Peek-a-boo with Zola, making her giggle.<p>

* * *

><p>"Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy!" Cristina forced a smile as she bounced Zola on her knee. This quickly fell away when Zola threw up on her.<p>

Lexie laughed, taking her niece to go clean her up.

Cristina glared at her.

* * *

><p>There was a knock at the door, and Meredith answered it to find Dell, once again in his bonnet.<p>

"Dell's Babysitting Service.." he sighed.

"I don't think we'll be needing that" Meredith laughed, "But you can take off that stupid bonnet and come in for a coffee if you like."

"Thank you" Dell grinned.

* * *

><p>Derek set up a Slip-N-Slide outside. Meredith sent Zola sliding happily down it before following her, Izzie and Lexie close behind.<p>

"Woo hoo!" Lexie yelled.

* * *

><p>That evening, Zola was playing with the Spawnlings by the empty fireplace. She farted, and Abby belched out a ball of flame, lighting the gas which then flew into the fireplace.<p>

"Well, that's one way to do it" Derek chuckled.

* * *

><p>That night, after their guests had left, and Lexie headed off to Mark's since it was Callie and Arizona's night with Sofia, Meredith and Derek put Zola to bed, and stood for a while watching their daughter sleep. She was so cute when she was sleeping.<p>

"So" Meredith grinned slyly to her husband. "What do you want to do now?"

* * *

><p>Before long, they lay sprawled in bed, asleep, both snoring loudly.<p>

Then, Zola began to cry.

"I'll get it" Meredith sighed.

* * *

><p>AN: The end! Look forward to 'Meredith Forever After', the Halloween special, 'Scared Meredith-less' and the Christmas Special, 'Meredith The Halls', some time in the not too distant future!<p> 


End file.
